To Be Honest

Yesterday ended up being a very hard day. After having such an amazing run, I was so optimistic. Then, when a friend sent a text and I asked her to come over, I thought, does it get any better? Great run. Coffee with a friend. Sounds fantastic. Right?

Then, it went downhill... or should I say uphill? Because it was downright hard. So hard, in fact, that I could barely get the tears to stop flowing last night. So hard, that I found myself wanting 2 things. My God and to run like the wind. If I hadn't been the only adult home with 6 kids and if it had been safe to run on the road in the dark, I would have gone.

Last night was one of those nights where I wanted to press the register button on the Portland Marathon that really isn't that far away... just so I could hurt a little. My brother is facing his toughest battle yet (you can read about it here) and all I wanted to do was push on with him. I can't walk his walk, so maybe I can run til it hurts. Right? Maybe I could push so hard and do it for him.

I wanted to scream. I wanted to throw the biggest pity party. Can't I please do it for free?? It's for my brother, after all. I've said I want to run my 1st marathon for him. The what ifs started creeping in a bit last night. I really wanted Portland.

But, the fact is. It's closed anyway. And this morning, I'm holding on tight to hope. To God. I'll get my marathon. I'll get the pain. I'll get across that finish line soon. And hopefully, my brother can be there to cross one with me too!

So, this morning, while I ran my 7. I thought of him. During the 1st mile, Mandi said, "I don't think I can keep up if you keep clipping along like this!" I just wanted to go. Running every mile for Chris. Praying. Hoping. And praying more. And don't worry, I did slow down for my sweet friend. Pointless to run through the pain without a friend by my side.

This run's for you Chris! Love you Brother!

Seriously

These shoes were made for running!

And apparently, the feet and body are figuring it out too!

I was supposed to go to Jazzercise this morning, but after realizing the reality of watching 8 kids today (5 of my own and 3 of my brother's) and realizing that's a lot of money for childcare, I decided to run out my door for a "free" activity.

I weighed the options, 3,4 or 5 miles. Since this wasn't technically a running morning and since I've got 7 tomorrow and 11 Saturday, I opted for 3.

Three miles. Abs. Push-ups. Sounded like a good morning.

I took off deciding to see what this body could do. I know that running is about patience. I know that it's not great to push it all the time. So, I don't do it all the time. But, every once in awhile, I just have to know where I'm at.

This morning, I was shocked! I was definitely not taking it easy, but wasn't so uncomfortable that I wanted to stop.

Mile 1: 8:48

Feeling good. Beautiful misty morning. Nice and quiet. Breathing great. Legs great.

Mile 2: 8:22

Still feeling good. A little surprised at my time. Pushing, but again, still feeling good. Great, actually!

Mile 3: 7:48!!!

Oh. My. Word. Body still good. Aware that I'm pushing it. Slowed down for a second and thought to myself, "why try to push it if you're just going to stop short at the end??" Picked it back up. Smiled to myself. Feeling great!

Honestly, I was hoping for that 7:59 again. Hoping is the key word. I did not feel like I was going fast enough for that. But, was hoping. To look at my times at the end, I was so surprised. Even more surprised that I wasn't huffing and puffing at the end. And more surprised still that I even felt great at the end.

Smiling as I walked my cool down. Smiling because my body is figuring it out. What once seemed impossible at the beginning is here. Now. Never did I think I could run a 7:48. Ever. I couldn't help but praise the Lord. Thanking him for running. Thanking him for this body that feels so good after a quick 3. Thanking him for the time. The quiet. The beauty around me.

3 miles done. Abs crunched. Push-ups completed. Now, off to collect some eggs from my chickens and play with 8 kids all day!

These Shoes Were Made For Running...

And that's just what they'll do. One of these days these shoes are going to run all over town.

Okay. Not really the way the song goes. But, hey, that's what comes to mind.

Mandi recently got new kicks. Bright and shiny white. I hadn't realized how dingy mine were looking until we stood side by side. I couldn't help but want to take a picture.

Today, hers have around 21 miles on them. Today, mine have around 428.49.

Aren't they pretty? Love the bright, white, new and LOVE the worn in old... Holes in the toes, filthy, stinky, sweaty shoes. Soon, mine will look nice and new and shiny too!

Gotta love the shoes. And just GOTTA love my friend!

Inspiration

We just got back from a very cold 5 day camping trip. So cold, in fact, that I found it VERY hard to even step away from the campfire! I was supposed to do a 3 mile run on Thursday and 11 miles on Saturday. 3 happened. 11 did not.

Thursday was the only day that was somewhat sunny and when I headed out around 3:00, I was instantly sucked into the run. It was gorgeous and I found myself tripping a couple of times because I truly was not paying attention to the ground in front of me. Mountains. Trees. Tall grasses. Hawks flying. Waves crashing. Beautiful.

At the start of mile 3 I came upon some trails and winded on through. Leaping over logs. Ducking under branches. Feeling a bit like an animal, I decided trail running might just be fun! Out of the woods and back to the campsite.

It was a wonderful run that reminded me why I love to run. I was looking forward to Saturday. Then, Saturday came and as I sat by the campfire wearing jeans with sweatpants over them, a long sleeve shirt, a short sleeve shirt, TWO fleece sweatshirts and my Dad's fantastic hunting/fishing windbreaker, I just could not get myself to go get into my running gear. I was tired. Crabby. And cold.

We headed home yesterday and on a stop to the cheese factory I found myself irritable and envious of those that walked by in their running gear. Ticked at myself for not getting my rear out there to enjoy the beauty. Ticked that I didn't just suck it up and go.

I was going to get up early this morning and run the 11. Then, I figured out that I'd have to get up 4:30. I chose to switch my weeks and use last week as a taper week and repeat last week this week. I chose to go to Jazzercise this morning and get a good sweat in. I chose to get over my irritation. Suck it up. And move on. Looking forward to hanging out with Mr. 11 miles on Saturday.

And as I sat cleaning out my email today, I couldn't help but love all the Runner's World quotes of the day...

"No one ever drowned in sweat." Author unknown

"Hard things take time to do. Impossible things take a little longer." Percy Cerutty

"You have a choice. You can throw in the towel, or you can use it to wipe the sweat off your face." Gatorade

"What I love about running is you can meditate while running. It's a peaceful place. You pray and think of the children and what you're doing, and you get through it. The time passes clearly. The first mile is the hardest." Sister Mary Elizabeth Lloyd

"The first thing is to love your sport. Never do it to please someone else. It has to be yours." Peggy Fleming

Thanks for the little kicks in the rear, Runner's World!

2 on Tuesday

I'm not so great at keeping it short and sweet, but I'll give it a go...

#1 Ran 7 this morning with Mandi and I can't help but smile a little as we ran 7! on a Tuesday! Last week was 8 and this week 7. LOVE the longer runs on the weekdays. There's just something about it that makes me feel like I'm getting there... wherever there is!

#2 Since we switched our run schedule for the week, that means I only have a 3 miler to do Thursday while we are camping and then on to 11 for Saturday!!

Okay, so I can't keep it to just 2 things. We'll go for three.

#3 I currently have scheduled Hood To Coast the end of August and a 1/2 marathon the week after that. I've been following the Smart Coach plan and it's great, but it has me running 12 miles the week before my race. That just seems a bit much. Here's what the rest of the schedule looks like...


7/19 - 3, 7, 11
7/28 - 5, 4, 5
8/2 - 3, 8, 11
8/9 - 2, 10, 12
8/16 - 3, 8, 12
8/23 - 3, 5, Race Day

Trying to play with it a bit and am thinking I take the 2nd 11 out and bump it to 12. Then, take the 2nd 12 and change it to 8. If I do that do I need to change the weekday runs at all or does it matter? And yes, I'm only running 3 days a week. But, I also do Jazzercise 3 days a week as well which gives me cardio and strength training. It works for me for now but I know that I'll bump it up to another day of running when I start training for a marathon in the spring. Any opinions or do I just trust the plan and go with what it has me scheduled to do??

Command and Conquer

10.

Those stupid 10 were looming in my head all week long. The dreaded 10 from last weekend. Another go at them this weekend.

10.

That had me incredibly anxious. Questioning myself. Doubting my ability to ever run a marathon. Doubting my ability to run at all.

10.

A wonderful Saturday morning. Friends meeting to run. A little cool. A little misty. Anxious tummy and out the door.

From the beginning I could tell that I had this one. My body felt better and the first 3.5 that I ran with Julie and Ashley sailed by. They had started earlier and had to turn around, but they left me confident and I just sat back and enjoyed the run from there. Me, Toby Mac and God.

Now, I won't lie, those hills still were still tough. Working hard on the way home as it's more up than down. But, they did not get me. They did not scare me nor beat me. All I felt at the end of my run was satisfaction and excitement to do it again.

I've been quite blessed. I've definitely had more good runs than bad. So, when I do have a bad one, I really struggle with it. It's those runs that have me thinking, if I can't do 10 (or whatever number it is) how can I do 26.2?? But, as I said here, if my brother can go through treatment for cancer, AGAIN, I can sure do 26.2. For him. For me.

Here are my mile times:

9:48
9:20
9:15
9:22
9:09
9:56 (love those hills!)
9:46
10:03 (more hills!)
9:57 (still recovering!)
9:31
8:24 (a little extra .15)

Thanking the Lord for a good 10. For good friends. For the ability to run. For hills to run on. For 11 miles next weekend!

Why 10?

I was supposed to be at my friend's house at 8:30 this morning so we could go on a 10 mile run. Brenton crawled in bed at 6 something and after a few minutes I actually thought I should just get up because there was no way I was going to be able to go back to sleep. My nose was stuffy. My arm was falling asleep from my sweet boy snuggles. I was sure more sleep was not going to happen.

Fast forward to 8:05.

I glanced at the clock and holy cow!! Mama's got to get up! Called Wendy, told her I'd be late. I still needed to feed the kids, check on the chickens, and get myself dressed. Should be there by 9:00 no problem.

Fast forward to 9:20.

I was having a bit of what I would like to call a wardrobe malfunction. My ONE pair of running shorts were beyond stinky after having been running AND to Jazzercise Thursday morning. I threw on a pair of capris and instantly started sweating. I tried an old skirt that I used to wear for Jazzercise, trying to pretend it was a running skirt, but since I've lost 14 lbs. since the last time I wore it, it was way to big. I tried safety pinning it, but that just looked ridiculous. I finally ended up wearing an old pair of shorts reserved for Jazzercise (more of the tight fitting, shorter version of a bike short). Feeling like my cheeks were hanging out, thinking of an article I had read about running faux pas, using vaseline since I own no glide. I was a mess but off I went anyway.

We even had to stop back by my house on the way out since I had forgotten my watch.

10 miles. That's all we had to do. 10. And holy crap!

My legs were heavy. I was hot. And tired. And whiny. Coming up with a million excuses as to why I was having a hard time...

I ran an extra day this week. A total of 27 miles when I was only supposed to do 22.

I have a cold.

I didn't drink enough water yesterday.

My thighs were still incredibly sore from Jazzercise yesterday.

I'm tired.

I had a fun but busy week with family and friends in town.

Whine. Whine. Whine.

Then, realizing... I may have come up with so many reason why I was having such a hard time, but the fact was, I also could have just as easily come up with so many reason NOT to run in the first place.

We were out there. We were running 10 miles. On hills. One of which was 1.2 miles long. Regardless of how hard it was, we were doing it!

This was, by far, my hardest run. Not my longest, but my hardest. Which is funny, the run that now takes 2nd place was also a 10 miler. Maybe I should just skip the 10 milers? Kidding, obviously, but I do think it's funny.

Now, off to enjoy the fact that I do feel great. I feel accomplished. I feel like it may have been hard, but it will make me stronger. Off to enjoy my kids and some gorgeous sunshine. Sunshine that made Brenton exclaim,

"Mommy!! It's sunny again!!!!"

Yes honey. We can actually have sunny days for more than just 2 days in a row.

The Way To My Heart

You know the saying, "good food is the way to a man's heart?" Well, it's not the way to my man's, nor mine... kind of. But, I will tell you what is the way to my heart.

A couple of days ago, I had asked a friend if I could borrow their Spirit of The Marathon DVD. Cory saw said friend last night and walked in the door with it last night. As we were going to bed last night, I shared my excitement that I had gotten all of our extremely tired kids in bed by 8:00. The words he said next blew me off my feet,

Cory: We'll have to make sure we get them in bed on time again tomorrow so we can watch Spirit of The Marathon.

Me: (picking jaw up off the floor) What?

Cory: We'll have to make sure we get them in bed on time again tomorrow so we can watch Spirit of The Marathon.

Me: Really?? I didn't think you'd want to watch it.

Cory: You love it and I love you so I really want to watch it with you.

Seriously. Not even joking. I am still (apparently!) blown away. I am so very thankful to have a husband who supports me so stinkin' much. So thankful that, although he does not love running, he does love me and wants to share in the moments with me. Thankful that he gets excited for me when I've had a good run. Thankful that when I haven't, he still encourages me and usually comes up with some great explanation as to why it may have been particularly harder than normal. He is such a blessing and I pray that I will continue to remember to remind him of how much I appreciate the sacrifices he makes so that I can pursue my dreams.

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What A Difference A Day Makes

A day is all it took.

1 more day and my body was good to go.

Ahhh. Just one more day...

Sundays run was beautiful. Ran with good friends who had flown in the night before from Phoenix. Ran in a little sunshine. Said "hi" to my friends, the cows. Ran 4...

4 miles at a 9:16 pace.

A 9:16 pace that felt heavenly. Amazing. Wonderful. I felt like I was floating on air. My body felt great. My lungs felt great. I even was holding myself back.

I wonder if my body just needed that rest to recharge. Because truly, it was an amazing 4.

Not the most consistent in pace times, but hey, there were 3 of us to keep somewhat together...

9:53
9:11
9:32
8:42

Then, yesterday, 7 miles. 7 miles with 2 fantastic friends.

Have I mentioned I love running??

7 easy miles that felt so good. So good to move my body. To run. The wind in my face. Friends to chat with. Cows and goats to run by...

Have I mentioned I love running in the country??

Running is such an amazing gift. One that I am ever thankful for. One that I praise the Lord for.

Excited as my weekend miles creep up. Going for 10 this weekend and can't wait.

Counting down to Hood to Coast. And the Eugene Women's Half. And the Girlfriend's Half. AND, the Vancouver U.S.A. Marathon next June!

Little TMI

I've been having some intestinal issues since Wednesday night that have caused me to be unable to run since Wednesday. This morning, I got my clothes, my watch and my i-pod on and just as I went to put my shoes and socks on, I had to dash in a different direction...

My sweet hubby came and found me in the bathroom with tears in my eyes...

"I'm so frustrated! I haven't been running since Wednesday! I just want to go for a run!!"

Seriously. Crying because I cannot run. My muscles are fine. Everything is fine. There's no reason... except for the one that keeps me close to home.

But, then, my hubs pointed out that I could try and go in the morning.

The light started shining again.

Yes.

I could run on the 4th.

What a way to celebrate!

Yes.

I could run on the 4th!

I laughed a bit. Because in the past, I would look at a holiday and look at it as a day off. I would think that because it was a holiday, or vacation day that I should get to rest. Now, I look at it as an opportunity to do what I love to do!

I'm praying that my intestines are better by tomorrow. This is just getting old. I miss running. I miss my time with me, the road and a clear and quiet head. I miss saying hi to the cows as I run by. I miss the feeling when I'm done.

I'm ready to be on the road again...