A Mess

A jumbled mess is perhaps what this post will turn out to be.

The computer is back up and running.

The kids are on break.

The puppy is still working on pottying outside all the time.

There are cookies to bake.

Snuggles to be had.

A Costco trip to take.

A Savior to celebrate.

And to be honest, I'm just going to cram in what I have to say so I don't miss any of it!

~As to the forced computer break? A blessing! Wow, I spend a LOT of time on this thing! Praying I don't fall back into the habit. And, as my sweet hubby said, I just need to have some self-discipline... yeah. Not so good at that! But, my family is worth it!

~Also, a huge thank you to those of you still reading and supporting me! Seriously! Your words mean so much, inspire and motivate me. And, Miss Raegun, your words, "take time to figure out what you're after...only then can you make a plan to get there. In the meantime, every step counts. ;)" have really helped to give me new eyes. Thank you!

~Today marks 17 years since I said yes to being my sweet hubby's girlfriend. 17 years! I was 16. He was 17. You can read a little about it here... Happy Anniversary Babe!

~I printed out a smart coach marathon training plan the other day. 3 runs a week in a very doable looking schedule. Two 20 milers. 16 weeks long. My friend also gave me a copy of her marathon training schedule. 5 runs a week. Doable but definitely more. Five 20 milers. 27 weeks. What's your plan look like and what do you prefer??

~I thought the computer was fixed :( It's now looking funky again. This may be short lived...

~I had an amazing run with an amazing friend on Saturday. Pretty sure we went 6+ miles, just not sure how much plus. We had to stop for lights and other various reasons along the way and when we thought we should be close to 5 I looked down and saw 2.6. Yep. I hadn't remembered to press start. Or stop. At the right moments. Maybe God saying, "let go of your anal tendencies!?" So, on my watch we did 5.12. Such a great run. Awesome conversation. And even got a yummy cup of coffee and more conversation at the end. What a blessing!

~Yesterday I did 4.25 on the mill and it felt fantastic. Seems my little break was exactly what my mind and body needed.

~Speaking of my body. I got a little too close with the M&M's in the sweet little star shaped bowl in my kitchen. Now, to work on food choices so I can feel better about myself and REALLY get ready for my marathon training like I intended! Darn M&M's! Thankful to have a dear friend walk the journey with me and help me with accountability. Helps to have a goal line and a reward at the end...

~I kept seeing this link show up on my stats page... http://www.teamestrogen.com/prodSU_19179F.html Took me a while to figure out how that was leading people to my blog and then I saw it... "A great review of The Piston 200 Compression Tight can be found here - Be Incredible" Kind of fun!! And yes. They are STILL incredible!

~Lines are darting through my computer screen and the kids need some snuggles. Thinking that's my cue to go...

Happy Tuesday!!

That Was Then

That was then.

This is now...

I was so inspired and motivated on Sunday. Rip roaring and ready to go!

Monday came and the workout clothes were put on. Then, the kids were moving slowly, the house was a wreck, I decided Jazzercise at 3:45 was much more realistic and gave myself the day to get some stuff done.

Can you guess what happened???

Right.

No Jazzercise.

Tuesday morning found me in a whirlwind as I got the kids ready and out the door and headed out the door myself to help make gingerbread houses in Caden's class. Came home, ate lunch and planned hitting the mill.

Can you guess what happened???

Well, I'm sure you can guess there was no running involved, but even I was a bit shocked at what happened...

I pulled the dog onto my lap, Brent curled up right beside me, we put Elf on the TV and I fell asleep before he could even get through the Gumdrop Forest!! Out. Completely out. I cannot remember the last time I fell asleep on the couch when I was not sick. Apparently, I'm tired.

This morning???

Well, let's just say that Cole does the dishes on the weeknights. And, let's also just say that because of late nights at wrestling the dishes did not get done Monday or Tuesday night. And, let's go on to say that I was too busy at the school, sleeping, or watching him win his first match! to get them done as well.

So, what I'm really saying is, my house was beyond disgusting and I chose to stay home and work on digging us out of the filth.

Thankfully, that is one plan that worked for the week!

So, while I could focus on the fact that I've yet to run this week and that I haven't walked in the doors of Jazzercise either, I'm not.

I'm focusing on the fact that I ate completely healthy today.

I'm focusing on the fact that I've rested this week.

I'm focusing on the fact that the terrible cough and cold that I've had for over a month is now miraculously going away... could it be that my lungs just needed some rest??

I'm focusing on the fact that I've snuggled with the kids A LOT! That I got A LOT accomplished today AND had a tasty dinner on the table! AND made molasses cookies for the family.

So, while I haven't ran or exercised in the least, I'm enjoying the many benefits of the break and am hoping that my body will be all better for my fun weekend of running with friends.

Also hoping that my computer that heads to the hospital tomorrow will come back healthy, happy and with all the pictures still on it that I have failed to take off for the last 3+ years!

I Commit Friday?

Okay. Okay. It's Saturday, (now it's Sunday) not Friday. However, between my computer crashing just about every time I get on it and taking care of 5 kids and a newborn... uh, I mean puppy! I'm not on the computer much.

But, I did just have to post this...

3 days of Jazzercise? Check!!

2 runs of 5 miles this week and a weekend run?? Check!!! Well, almost. The runs were more like 5.25 and the weekend run isn't happening until tomorrow (it happened this morning!). But, it will happen and for that I am THRILLED!!

Water? Okay, just not great.

Food?? Can it count that I'm eating LESS peppermint kisses that I was last week??? Less is better, right?? Shoot!!! Wondering if I have to admit that I just ate salad and tater tots for lunch??

Attitude? Much better! Tuesday slipped away with no run and so although I went to Jazzercise Wednesday morning, I still hopped on the treadmill Wednesday night and pounded out the miles while watching Miracle on 34th Street with the kids. And Thursday night?? Let's just say I was inspired by little miss Tonia B.! I put the kids to bed and hopped on the mill again and pounded out my 2nd run of the week! It felt so good to get it done with the only negative being that I couldn't fall asleep until after midnight.

Lots of race thoughts have been going through my head in the last week. It could be that the new year is getting closer. It could be because my dear friend, Eryn, is doing this. It could be because I haven't raced in awhile. Regardless of why, my mind has been racing...

What to do?

The only sure things are the Vancouver Marathon and the Girlfriend's 1/2 Marathon. Other than that, I'm waiting. Waiting to see what's best for my family since they aren't the ones that love running, I truly want to keep them in mind as I choose what's next.

As for running now? This morning's run was fabulous! Eight miles with my wonderful friend, Wendy. To be honest, I hadn't ran more that 7 since the 7th of November and I had no idea what to expect. To run 9:15's on the treadmill is some serious work and I was worried that I'd be lucky to hit 10:00's outside. Thankfully, that was not the case. Thankfully, I really haven't lost that much fitness. Thankfully, I felt great at the end of 8 and could have done more if we had more time. And, really, quite thankfully, we were able to finish up our run with an 8:30 mile with our overall pace being 9:13. Man, it felt amazing!!

Even more amazing is how my mood has changed. Getting back on track feels amazing and I'm looking forward to another good week.

How was your week and how are your commitments going?

Becoming

Vet in the morning, then home for lunch...

Eat really quick, digest, then run...

1:00 became 2:00...

2:00 became 3:00...

3:00 became 4:00...

Would you like to hear more??

Laundry that beckoned.

Just one more load.

Dishes.

Homework.

Snacks for 4.

Running clothes on.

Shoes and socks too.

Dog out to potty.

Ready...

Set...

Poo!

The kids were all ready.

Christmas movie on.

Everyone comfy.

I'm off to run...

The Christmas lights shining, they blow a breaker??

Out to the shop.

Once, twice, three times!

Are you kidding??

4:00 became 5:00...

The dog she's attacking. Playing and nipping, the kids, they aren't laughing.

5:00 became 6:00...

6:00 became 7:00...

Somewhere in there I threw dinner at em'...

Before I knew it, it was time for bed.

Prayers said.

Lights out.

Perfect time to run it out.

Instead, of course, the jammies came.

Layed on the floor, the dog the same.

We sat.

We vegged.

I thought once more...

Darn it! Bad habit!!

Tomorrow, I'll run 4!

Habits

We've had our sweet puppy for a week now and I've only managed to create 1 bad habit so far.

One week.

And I already have a habit to break.

Sweet girl is SUCH a good girl and she loves to snuggle. Great, right? Well, the problem is that I LOVE to snuggle too. So, when I sit down, she comes over and onto my lap she plops. If I'm on the couch, she wants my lap. If I'm on the floor, she wants my lap. If I'm kneeling to put wood in the fire? She'll plop down right on my calves. All's fine and dandy now, but I don't want my dog up on the couch when she's bigger! So, now, I'm trying to form new habits. Just like with running...

When I started running in January, Tuesday and Thursday runs were done on a friend's treadmill. They were done at whatever time worked for her schedule and regardless of morning or afternoon, I got it done. Saturdays found my runs at the track and as my mileage picked up, I headed to a trail near my house. I loved my weekend runs. I loved running.

I had started running to prepare for the Girlfriend's 1/2 that was in October. So, really, I had no immediate goal... until I realized that maybe I was ready for a 5k. I signed up for the Shamrock Run and fell in love with racing. When I ran 12 miles with my friend Wendy, I felt ready for a 1/2 and wanted to do one sooner than October. I signed up for the Cinco de Mayo 1/2. Then, came the idea of the Eugene Women's 1/2. Then, Hood to Coast. And before I knew it I had many races right around the bend.

I was now hooked on racing. Basically, I had formed a habit. I was completely content with no races on the schedule until racing sucked me in.

I also rarely had a running partner at the beginning. Sure, one here or there, and soon weekday runs had me running with Mandi, but long runs often found me solo. And, that's how I preferred it. When I ran Cinco de Mayo I was great. Needing nothing but me, my shoes and my ipod to keep me going.

Then, came running partners more consistently on long runs. I loved it! Loved the time together! Love the conversations! Loved it!

New habit formed.

When it came time for the Eugene Women's 1/2 I didn't know what to do with myself. I needed a running partner. I was so thankful to run the first little bit with Sarah Bowen Shea as I so obnoxiously (I'm sure) chatted her ear off and finally made myself zip it. As I started struggling at mile 3 I found a couple of girls whose pace felt good and I latched onto them. It was lonely running by myself!

My runs between Eugene and Girlfriend's were often solo and so by the time I ran Girlfriend's, I was again fine to run alone.

New habit formed. Kind of.

I found myself thinking about January the other day. I feel like the habits that formed in the spring and summer have set me up for the funk I'm in now.

I just need to form new habits.

Run to run.

Be flexible.

Enjoy solo runs.

Cherish those with friends.

New habits starting now!

Are you quick to form habits and do you have a hard time changing them??

Mental Games/I Commit Friday

I'll just say right now, I haven't been doing so well in the commitments department.

I have been working on my water.

I have been trying to make better food choices.

I have been working out.

I have been doing some core work.

The problem?

None of it has been done as well as I want it to be.

I remember Oprah describing food choices one time. That even if you make a wrong turn, don't give up. Just make a U-turn. I'm not good at U-turns...

Ever since my mom walked me through the doors of Weight Watchers in the 4th grade I have been a mental game player.

And when I reached Lifetime Member status after the birth of my 1st babe, I would play those games every month when I went for my weigh in... enjoy way too many treats for 3 weeks. Eat healthy for 1. Weigh in. Start the cycle all over again. I had to quit going because I got so sick of the game. Then I got pregnant again. And again. And again. Which worked great for the game because I had a built in excuse to yo-yo. Now, with no more babies I have no more built in excuses. It's all me. And the game.

I have had some pretty negative self talk.

I have had some convincing rationalizations.

When it's go time I'm good to go.

When I've got a goal, I'm golden.

But, it seems, that goal needs to be worth it.

Totally and completely.

The race.

That seems to be a goal my mind loves.

There's nothing like looking at that training schedule, planning your runs and checking them off. One by one.

Then, there's race day. Beautiful race day.

There is just nothing that compares. A high that I'm sure a junkie could relate to. The adrenaline rush that feels so good that you are left wanting more.

The race.

I miss it.

I don't know if it's just the winter blahs. Or perhaps, it's because I have no races set in stone except the Vancouver Marathon in June. Perhaps, it's because I don't really know what next year looks like for races. My mind seems to have many thoughts...

I loved the Shamrock Run last year. Thousands of people. A beautiful run. A beautiful morning. But, do I really want to spend the money on it? When there are races like the Girlfriend's 1/2 and the Eugene Women's 1/2?

I'm a stay at home mom. With that, there are many benefits. But, there are also sacrifices. It's not like we have money coming out our rears and I can just go around spending money on every race that sounds fun.

And, even if we did have a money tree, would it really be best for my family?

What is best?

Is it less races?

I have a friend who's goal is to run 10 marathons before she turns 40. She's already done 7 of them and has 3 to do in the next year. When she ran Portland this year, she ran with a friend who was not only running his first marathon, but was also running his first race! He then went on to run Seattle last weekend and is running Vancouver in June. He is hooked! Do I just do that? Only spend money on the big races??

But, who am I kidding?

I haven't even run one yet.

I just want to find some balance.

But, it seems that until I know what's happening, my motivation seems to be rather low.

I no longer have a consistent running partner (that's a person!) and amazingly, that seems to have cut the motivation as well.

I'm loving my treadmill, but then there's the issue of making the time in the middle of the day. And to be honest, the treadmill seems to kick my rear!

I haven't run 10 miles straight since the 7th of November. And I hate it.

I wasn't planning on starting to train until February, but a friend mentioned a 6 month marathon training plan... I think I'm going to give it a go just so my head can stop with the games.

Because, truly, if I don't find my motivation soon I just might lose it!

How's your motivation when you're not training?

How are your commitments?

Do you play mental games?