I Hate Dogs

I hate dogs.

Okay, maybe that's not quite it. I have a dog. I don't hate her...

I hate other people's dogs. No, not quite it either...

I hate when other people don't keep their dogs where they should be - behind a fence, at the end of a rope or in their house!

I had another run-in with a dog yesterday.

Seriously.

Headed down my nemesis. A mile long hill. All I needed to do was get to the bottom, turn around and head back up. The plan was to tell my brain to shut it. For whatever reason, it's all of a sudden scared of hills. It tells me I can't do it. So, in response, I give it more. Eventually, I'll stop all this negative self talk going on in there. Right?

Mile 5. That's the bottom of the hill. I didn't make it.

Mile 4. something a dog comes running at me. Stupid dog!! He's out. Two others are behind the fence barking their brains out. I'm sure the dogs behind the fence are telling the other dog to rip my face off. Can you hear my irritation?

I stopped running and yelled. And yelled. It would not turn away. It would, however, stay on the opposite side of the road. I stood there, ticked. All I wanted to do was get to the bottom of that hill.

Deciding it was better to be smart. I walked backwards for a bit and headed back up the hill.

Dumb dog.

However, the dumb dog would not ruin my run.

12 miles.

In the sun!!

We haven't had much of that - the sun. While 40 states have been in an extreme heat wave, we've been wondering where summer is. I, personally, was dressed like it was April the other day. Jeans, t-shirt, fleece sweatshirt, socks and shoes! It was even too cold for flip-flops!

So, imagine my delight when I headed out in shorts, a tank and 36 oz. of water and Gatorade. Yes. 36 oz. I sweat a lot and knew my body would have no clue how to get through the run without lots of fluid. And, yes. I drank every last drop.

I recently acquired a new pair of Lululemon shorts and while they are short, they are perfect. I feel strong, confident and ready to take on the world. Perhaps the poor dog was just scared of my muscles as I bounded toward his home :)

I smiled through my run in the rolling hills. When my mind wanted to start with the negative, I gave it the positive. When my body said it was hot and tired, I smiled that it was hot. It felt good to be a hot, sweaty, mess.

12 miles.

What a blessing! Even a dog coming at me and making me change my route can't take that away!

Friends, Family and Not So Friendly Visitors

Thanks to my Dad, Mom, sweet husband and dear friend, Mandi, I am now signed up for marathon #2! So excited to be running LA 2012! So excited to be officially signed up! So excited to even know my bib #! So excited to have my Mom at the finish line again!

Last November, my Dad and I were talking about the marathon and he so generously offered to pay the entry fee. I wasn't quite ready for a full yet and thanked him profusely but said I couldn't. Much to my surprise, he offered to pay for 2012. I'm so ready this time and cannot wait! I will get to spend the weekend with my mom and her very dear friend. And, when I get to that finish line, I'll get to see my Mom's sweet face!

Yesterday, there was a smokin' deal. Sign up after 12 pm and receive $20 off your registration fee. How can you skip that?? The only problem? My computer at home doesn't work. What to do??

Call a friend.

My friend, Mandi would be home all day and it was her son's birthday. I asked if we could stop by, let the kids play and I could hop on her computer. Sounded great in theory, but for this crabby mom, it almost didn't happen.

You see, my not so friendly, monthly visitor had decided to show up Monday afternoon. The kicker was that she acted so friendly when she first arrived. I wasn't tired. I wasn't crampy. I wasn't crabby. What a gem!

Until Tuesday.

I woke up tired. I woke up crampy. I woke up crabby. And I had lots to do.

Yuck.

I ran errands all morning and picked the kids up from VBS at noon. As we headed home for lunch, I talked to Mandi for the 2nd time. I was tired. I was ready to curl up in a ball. I had so much to do. I didn't know how I could get to her house, get a run in, and still fold all 4+ loads of laundry that had been washed but NOT folded on Monday.

Yuck.

Enter the scary music.

Her: I already told my kids you might stop by. You could always bring the kids and run from my house :) It would be easier too! Flat with only 1 hill. And you could sign up for the marathon too :)

Me: Oh, I hadn't thought of that. (Really thinking, NO, I don't want to. I'm tired. I'm crabby. I want to curl up in a ball.) Fine. I'll think about it.

Really???? Who has to think about that?? Who says that when a friend offers to watch your kids so you can run?? I should have smacked myself.

I got all my stuff done and decided just before we left that I would indeed try to get my run on.

My attitude was amazing.

I kissed the kids and headed out the door. 6 miles. 4 at tempo. Go! As soon as I got out of the neighborhood, the sun starting shining down. It was hot! I was cookin'! Sweat pouring. Puke simmering. I actually paused to catch my breath at mile 3. And 4. And 5. Okay, not the best of runs, but I hit my times and I got my stinky rear out there.

And when I was done???

I felt like a million bucks. No more cramps. No more crabbiness. I was no longer tired.

Amazing.

And then? Well, I headed upstairs and signed up for marathon #2 of course :)

Thankful for friends and family who make me smile and kick my rear every once in awhile.

The Unexpected

Sometimes, the unexpected comes as a run that when you started you thought about doing 14 instead of 13 and by the time you got to 9.75, you were calling your husband to come get you. Pushing yourself up a hill to finish out at 10.

And, sometimes, it comes as a German Shepherd, chest high, barking in your face. Terrified, you shout, "no", "off", "down", until the owner finally comes out and calls the dog inside.

Sometimes, the unexpected comes in realizing that 10 miles is still 10 miles and really, there is NOTHING wrong with 10 miles.

Sometimes, the unexpected comes from laughter through tears.

And tears through laughter.

Sometimes it comes from a deep breath and a hug from your sweet husband... a husband who exhibits more patience with you than you even have for yourself.

Sometimes, the unexpected is joy that comes from watching your daughter sing her heart out in the rear view mirror.

And sometimes, it comes in sorrow when your mind brings in wonderful memories that make you wish you could turn back time and do it all over again.

Sometimes, it comes from a glance at your brother as his eyes twinkle and his smile beams while he watches his wife tell a funny story. A moment so sweet. A moment to savor.

Sometimes, the unexpected comes from a 4 year old that says, "hey, Mom?? I love you!" and then he goes on his way.

And other times it's when your 15 year old makes an 8 hour drive so much easier by helping with his 4 younger siblings and the dog... with no attitude and no complaining and a smile on his face.

This morning, the Lord blessed me with something completely unexpected.

10 miles with a smile on my face.

Exploring Spokane.

Beautiful views from South Hill.

Running by the golf course and seeing my Dad working at mile 3.25.

A run that I wasn't even sure I would do. A run that was going to be 4-6 easy miles. That turned into a 6 mile tempo run. That extended into 8. And then 10. A rare treat of exploration... that had me only feeling lost for a moment. A run that refreshed me. Surprised me. A run that, although just a run, reminded me of how much God loves me. How He cares even about the little things. The things that give us a deep breath.

After my shortened run on Saturday and a difficult 3 mile run on Monday, I was unsure that I even had it in me to train for the Eugene Women's 1/2. Telling Julie, that perhaps, I should just be happy that I got to run it and enjoy it simply for that. Perhaps, a push for 1:50 was not to be.

And, really, the jury is still out on that. I have no idea what to expect in the coming weeks. They seem to contain so many things that were unexpected....

But, I will hold on to this glorious morning. The views. The quiet. The deep breath. I will cherish the moment for what it was. I will carry it in the days ahead. The reminder of God's love. And I will look forward to moments with my brother, his family and my own family and thank the Lord for every single moment.

Excuses

I have to say that although I love that I'm back on a training plan, there's also something about it that almost intimidates me.

I took last week off and it seems that with 1 week off, my brain now thinks that it's no longer capable of running. Or perhaps, I can run, but I can't run that far or that fast.

Basically, the suck monkey has come out to play.

I was supposed to do my tempo run yesterday, however, my sweet husband had the day off of work and we had plans to set up the pool that we had just purchased from friends. After staying up incredibly late on the 4th I decided the alarm would not be set and yesterday would be an off day.

No worries. I could just do my tempo today.

Except I was tired.

And had no desire to set the alarm.

Therefore, I would have to run in the heat.

Which would mean that the track would be a no go without shade.

Which would lead to me having to run the hills from my house.

And there is NO way I could hit my paces on those hills.

I would just do my best.

That was that.

I would be glad that I got to run 6 miles and focus on my best.

So, I put on my Lululemon skirt, my Brooks Glycerin tank and my headband.

I felt good, it was a start.

Mile 1 - 9:34 (how in the world am I going to go faster than this???)

Mile 2 - 8:33 (what??)

Mile 3 - 8:30 (how did I do an 8:30 with that hill???)

Mile 4 - 8:41 (I can do most anything through Christ who strengthens me. I can climb a mountain when I'm 4, even 3 - an old Kids Praise song, I believe. Push. Push. Push.)

Mile 5 - 9:02 (wheeze, gasp, recover)

Mile 6 - 8:34 (to make up for that recovery mile)

I could not wipe the smile off my face. Praising the Lord for such an amazing run. I felt strong. I felt confident. I couldn't wait for my 13 miler this weekend.

It's so crazy to me how the brain works. When you've taken a break or haven't done something before, the brain comes up with excuses.

I have NEVER run a tempo on the road. Every single one of my tempos have been on the track. I did NOT think I could run a tempo on the road.

Today, I proved myself wrong.

I loved it.

Can you even imagine what you could do if your brain didn't slow you down???

What a wonderful way to start the day. What a blessing to be able to have such a fantastic run surprise me like that. So thankful for the Lord's little gifts.

Aching

I stood in the shower with tears pouring down my face last night. As many of my thoughts do, I had ended up thinking about running. About my "friends" who are going to be on an awesome team for Nuun and the fun that they will have. It looks to be a very fun group of girls and I know that, for them, it will be something they remember and cherish for a long time.

That got me thinking about my Hood to Coast experience. About how I said I would never do it again. About how when I told my brother that, he said, "would you run it with me??" About my reply, "in a heartbeat!"

Then, came the tears.

We had said Hood to Coast 2012 would be the year. He would be healthy by then. He would be running by then. I knew we would have no problem getting a team together. Just needing to cross our fingers that we would get in.

Tears.

My brother. My friend. A true blessing. I love you.

Unless God intervenes, we won't get next year. We won't get to run together. We won't get to be beyond tired together. We won't get to laugh together. We won't get to do Hood to Coast 2012 together.

I wrote this back in the summer of 2008. He is my hero and I love him dearly.

God has blessed me more than I can even fathom. I have been beyond blessed with many big brother moments in the last couple months that I cling to. He keeps me accountable. He reminds me of God's faithfulness. He's my brother.

There's a song by Florence and the Machine called, Dog Days Are Over. I first heard this song when I borrowed my dear friend's I-pod for the Girlfriend's 1/2. As I turned a corner the chorus came on...

"Run fast for your mother run fast for your father
Run for your children for your sisters and brothers"

With that I gave my brother's picture on my back a pat and picked up the pace. I would run because he couldn't.

Last night, Cory added that song to my I-pod. Last night I bawled thinking about what's to come. Last night I wanted to run a marathon right now even more just so I could run fast for my brother.

I just want to pound the pavement...

I'm aching to my very core.

Completely aching.