Charlie Brown

You know how the adults in Charlie Brown's world sound like this??

"Wah wah wah. Wahwah wahwah. Wah wah."??

Yeah.

Pretty sure that's what I sound like to my children.

Yesterday was going along perfectly. Focused. Cleaned the toilets (and the sinks and mirrors too!) Fed Mr. B. Changed into my running clothes. So excited to get my run on and do a little tempo run.

A tempo run thinking about an amazing woman who went to dance with Jesus yesterday. A woman who inspires me to live and love better. A woman who, every time I hear the song, "Do It Anyway" by Martina McBride, I think of. I didn't know her well but loved every bit that I knew. I once wrote something on Facebook about realizing that not every one wanted to hear about my running stuff. Her response was something like, "it's your Facebook page. You post whatever you want!" She encouraged me and supported me when we would hear of my brother's cancer coming back again. And again. Her eyes glowed. She exuded joy. She radiated Christ's love. She was an angel here on earth. An angel that reminded me of another angel... My husband's Mom who passed away in 1997. When I heard that Jenna went to be with Jesus yesterday, I pictured the 2 angels dancing, singing and praising our God together. I couldn't help but smile.

Yesterday's run was for Jenna.

Inspired and excited, I told the kids, "Mom's got a really hard run today. Please play in the family room. Please don't try and talk to me. I won't be able to hear you or talk to you. Thank you!"

Smiling for Jenna.

Off I go.

Warm-up mile - floating on air.

Mile 1 at tempo. Kick it up. Feeling good. Feeling strong. Apparently feeling stronger in my head than I'm actually capable of. 1/2 mile in...

"Mom!!!! wahwah wahwah wahwah!!!"

Seriously???

Stop the treadmill.

"Are you okay? Stay in the family room! Stop fighting!!"

Start the treadmill.

2.5 in...

"Mom!!!! The phones ringing!!"

"I don't care. I can call them back!"

"Wahwah wahwah wahwah!!!"

"I CAN'T TALK RIGHT NOW!!!"

Oh my word!

Go.

I started too fast. At this point I feel like puking. And passing out. I can't keep it up.

Slow it down.

More.

And more.

"MOM!!!..."

At this point, I'm ready to quit. It's starting to look impossible. I'm barely halfway through. I have no steam left. My kids are obviously not listening to me. I should just quit.

Instead...

Do It Anyway!!

"Get your rears back here!!"

"I (gasping for air) CANNOT (gasping for air) TALK (gasping for air) WITH (gasping for air) YOU (gasping for air) RIGHT (gasping for air) NOW (gasping for air)!!!"

"Please do not come in here again!"

Sucking it up. I can do this. It may not be as fast as I want. It may not be what I had planned. But, 6 miles is 6 miles no matter the speed.

Do it because you can!

Go!!

I finished. I did it. Talking myself through every second. I was pooped. I felt like puking. I've decided that between yelling at my kids and not having any sugary goodness in my system I had no extra steam.

That sugar coating on the outside of the gummy jelly eggs?? I think it gives me superpowers! I haven't had ANY of them since Sunday... my powers are fading!! I'm sure that's a reason to eat them, right?? Wrong.

I finished the run and started getting upset about it. An epic fail. If I couldn't run 6 strong, how would I get through my 20 miler on Saturday?? But, inspired by Jenna, I took on a different attitude. I DID 6 miles. I persevered. I didn't quit. 20 is still 20. And I cannot wait!

Love you Miss Jenna! Thank you for inspiring me! Thank you for showing so many what it means to live and love! You are missed but I'm so thankful that you're up in the arms of Jesus. Living. Loving. Dancing. Singing. Love you!

Day 3

There's a blessing and a curse that I'll go ahead and call day 3.

I made it through day 1.

Day 2 came and I even said, "no" TWICE when sweet B offered me some of his jellybeans. And while I was less tempted to grab that handful of jellybeans on day 2, I was also hungry when I went to bed.

Hungry because my body had apparently worked it's way through my reserves of all the crap I had consumed in the days prior.

I once read about a girl who actually LIKED to go to bed hungry. I, however, feel as if I'm torturing my poor body and baby any hunger pain with a little food. I think there's something wrong with being hungry.

There's one problem with that. When your body is used to consuming too many calories, there's going to be some hunger as it adjusts to what is a healthy amount. It's not giving into it with handfuls of jellybeans, cheese and tortilla chips that seems to be the problem.

I have a certain amount of calories that Everyday health has given me to lose a healthy 1 lb. a week. It's nothing crazy, but it sure helps me. Helps me to get the right serving size. The right amount of calories. It's helped me to be more aware of what I put in my mouth.

I love that I have that benchmark each day. Last night, as I stood looking at my food journal, I realized, "hey, I still need to eat 200 more calories!!" Yeah for 200 more calories!!

So, what's the curse of day 3 you may ask?? Well, my body is starting to feel less crappy. I don't feel as bloated. I feel better about myself. I can almost tell myself that it's fine to have some jellybeans today. After all, I went 2 WHOLE days without them :)

Here's to staying strong on day 3!

When do you have the hardest time staying on track?

Day 1

It's day 1 of the great sugar detox of April 2011.

I've been doing great all day.

Not tempted by the Easter candy that has invaded my home.

Not tempted at all.

I even took a picture of myself to see if I really looked how I felt.

The answer?

Sure do.

And, no. I'm not posting it.

But, now...

As the rain pours outside.

As my head starts to hurt.

As I hit the wall and start feeling ready for bedtime.

As the kids whining starts to get on my every nerve.

I'm tempted.

Tempted to grab a handful of jelly beans.

Tempted to throw a peep in my mouth.

Tempted by the cute LITTLE Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.

Because, surely, that will give me TONS of energy and will give the patience I need to get through the day. Right?

Wrong.

It's a lie.

I refuse to listen to it.

I refuse to fall to it's temptation.

Like I said, it's the great sugar detox of April 2011.

It won't be easy.

It won't be fun.

It won't taste as sweet.

But, when the camera reflects a better me, I'll go ahead and show you what it showed me today.

And then?

It will totally be worth every uneaten jelly bean, peep and Reese's Peanut Butter cup!

SUN-sational!

I woke up at 6:30 this morning to glorious sunshine. Beautiful, glorious, sunshine!

If you live in the pacific NW you know just how amazing this event was.

SUNSHINE!!!

Yes. We are that deprived of our vitamin D this year.

I had already arranged for a friend to watch little B and was all set to get my 16 in this morning. With 2 baseball games tomorrow and Easter on Sunday, I knew today was my only chance.

16.

I wonder if I will ever NOT get anxious about a long run. My stomach turns. My legs turn to jello. I've said it before and I'm sure I'll say it again, but, long runs are like pregnancy tests to me. I always worried I'd go in for my 1st appointment only to discover that the test was wrong and I really was NOT pregnant. With my long runs, I have the same fear. Maybe I really DIDN'T run that far. Maybe it was just a false positive.

16.

Mable? (my Garmin. My motivator. Fresh from a night of charging.) Check!

Water bottles filled and snapped in? Check!

I-pod? Check!

Gatorade for after? Check!

Powerbar Harvest for after? Check!

Shot blocks in baggie in pouch? Check!

Buttshield? Check!

Sunscreen? Check!

I was set. Prepared. Ready to go.

Got to my friends. Gave kisses. Peed.

Ready.

Set.

Go...

Not so fast. Mable, my friend, my motivator would NOT turn on!!! In that moment, God must have poured his peace on me because I really didn't care. Me. The ever anal one when it comes to tracking my mileage. Me. Peaceful. And thankful that my friend had a stopwatch I could borrow so that I had some sort of idea of where I was at.

Off I went.

Anxious for the long run.

Excited for a run in the sun.

Expecting difficulty. Expecting fatigue. Because who gets two 16 milers that are amazing??

Can I tell you how wonderful it was to smell sunscreen?? I'm thinking that I'm going to have to start wearing it all the time... even though the sun hardly shines here. Oh, the smell!! Pure heaven!

Can I tell you how amazing it was to run in the sun???

Can I tell you how quickly the miles went by???

Can I tell you how uncompetitive I am??? Yes. Me. Competitive with myself. But, when faced with passing someone on the trail, I was in serious turmoil...

You see, I had passed this girl as I headed towards town. We were going in opposite directions and I had about 1/2 mile until I turned around. Imagine my shock and amazement when I came upon 4 miles and could see her in the distance. Surely, it would not be a problem. Surely, I would not catch up to her.

Mile 5. There she was. Not far. Oh, the dilemma. I stopped, drank some water, ate my blocks, and continued on. Do I slow down so I don't pass her?? Do I really pass her??? I seriously felt terrible. After all, when we first passed we were heading in opposite directions!

I did it. I sucked it up. I passed her and never saw her again...

The problem with not have Mable with me was that I really wasn't sure of the mile markers. I was planning on doing 10 miles the first time out and finishing with 6 more. Two out and backs. No problem. However, without Mable, I wasn't sure. Where was mile 5? I decided to just head up farther to what I knew (or thought) would be mile 7 and turn back from there. That would leave me with an out and back for 4 miles which wouldn't be a problem because I was sure of the mile markers there.

Yeah.

Mable keeps much better track that I.

16 miles turned into 16.46.

And it was amazing!

I felt like I could go on forever. Not even a hint of talking myself into the last 2 miles. They just zoomed by.

Thankful for the glorious sunshine. Thankful for a peaceful 16. Thankful for a God who loves me and blessed me with such heaven on earth.

Off to enjoy more sun with the kids!

Not So Shocking...

It's not so shocking that I experienced a little Boston Fever this week. And as went about my morning, it looked a little like this...

Fold a load of laundry (oh, who am I kidding???)

Fold 3 shirts...

Refresh the computer.

Fold 6 pairs of socks...

Refresh the computer.

Take the dog out...

Refresh the computer.

Go to the bathroom...

Refresh the computer.

Refresh. Refresh. Refresh.

Following as my sweet friend, Ashley, ran her 3rd marathon. Remembering the 1st. Remembering the 2nd. Cheering her on from afar. Crying when her final time came up.

Stalking Tall Mom, Dorothy, Skinnyrunner and a girl I ran Hood to Coast with last summer.

So amazing to watch their times come up.

Cheering.

Amazed.

Catching the fever.

It's when I hear stories of women who have worked their rears off and gone from high 4:00 marathons to Boston qualifying that gives me the fever.

It's when I hear of people who kick some serious rear already that I tell myself, "maybe when I'm 50. Surely, I could get sub-4:00 by 50. Right?"

Regardless, I have just a bit of the fever.

I also have a LOT of excitement!!

8 1/2 weeks until my 1st marathon!!!

I cannot wait!

However, the stomach turned a little bit on Sunday...

Not because I was nervous.

Not because I was anxious.

Not because I didn't think I could do it.

It was turning because by stinkin' body decided to start 2 days early!!!

2!!!!!!

What's the big deal you may ask???

Those 2 days has me starting on the day of the marathon!!

Seriously???

When I ran on Saturday, I felt completely uncoordinated. I felt like an elephant clomping down the road. Even though my pace was great. I felt off. When I started on Sunday, it all made sense. Running the day before I start never seems to go well.

Perfect scenario? (Because we know I'm in complete control.) Would be to stick with the 2 day early routine. Please, oh, please!!

Anyone else ever had the threat of a marathon day period?? Oh the joys.

ButtShield??

I'll admit that when I was contacted to do a review on 2Toms ButtShield, I almost didn't even read the email.

Ever since the "Great Computer Virus of 2010" took my computer down and left me with one that kind of works, I'm a bit leery about all emails. Especially one that says "Buttshield".

However, I'm so glad I opened that email! I would have absolutely missed out!

I'll also admit that when I read it I thought, "Um. I don't have butt chafing. Should I even do the review?"

Butt, being the ever resourceful one, I decided to give it a try and see how it worked in the areas I DO chafe.

2 Toms ButtShield is now my go to anti-chafing remedy. I realized this as I went to prepare for my run the other day. I have 3 options and what did I reach for? Yep! ButtShield!

It rolls on which I LOVE! Oh and it doesn't just roll on, it rolls on SMOOTHLY!

It has no odor.

It does not stain.

It lasts and lasts and is waterproof - Have you seen how sweaty I get??

I do not chafe - when I remember to use it :)

I guarantee that I've put 2Toms ButtShield to the test...

Under my arms - No more chafing from my armband or tanks and t's!

Under my bra

My thighs - While the chub may still rub, NO chafing!

Um. That underwear thing I talked about before?? 2Toms ButtShield takes care of that too!

I would say that if you've ever had chafing problems, you need to run on over to 2Toms and give ButtShield a try. I promise, your sensitive areas will thank you!

Disclosure: I received the above product for the sole purpose for review. All opinions are my own.

Slow Poke

I left bright and early Saturday morning - well, early for me on a Saturday morning...

A little after 8:00.

I headed out to have coffee with a sweet friend and then to head on over to an AMAZING celebration for the RLAMiversary for Another Mother Runner's, Sarah and Dimity. We chatted a bit, ran a nice 5, chatted some more. Oh and we got some crazy cool swag too! Asics arm warmers, New Balance socks, an Arcteryx hat, a Skirt Sports bag, some Nuun, some GU... crazy cool!

After a great morning I was blessed with more girl time as two dear friends and I headed over to Lululemon and Fit Right. So wonderful. So peaceful. Bliss! I even found a new Amphipod Hydration Belt and Headsweats visor. Sweet bliss!

After said bliss, I then headed on over to Costco and got home around 3:00.

When I walked in the door, my sweet 9 year old said, oh so excitedly, "How did your 20 go????" (Apparently, he knows my schedule too :) To which I said, "Oh Bud, I didn't do 20 today because of my foot. I only did 5." His reply? "Oh. You're usually a LOT faster when you run 5." Sweet boy. Thought his Mama was quite the slow poke. 7 hours for 5 miles. Ouch!

Thankfully, it did not take me 7 hours for 5 miles. Thankfully, I could share about my fun morning with him. And I absolutely LOVE that he gets just as excited about my long runs as I do... dare I say he's even a bit proud of his mom??

Snap, Crackle, Pop

While I lay in bed Friday morning, I pointed and flexed my toes. I rotated my ankle. Then I pointed my toes again and spread my toes out...

Snap. Crackle. Pop!!

There was a pop in my foot that I didn't give a second thought and went back to sleep. When I got out of bed, I put my feet on the floor and my foot hurt the most that it had all week.

A week in which I did NOT run at all. Zip. Zilch. Zero runs.

A week in which we would drive by runners and I would stare longingly out the window.

A week in which I enjoyed a break with my family. Time with my brother and his family in Coeur d'Alene, ID and my parents and sister in Spokane, WA.

A week in which my injured foot had me on the corner of All or Nothing St. and had me coming up with a new game plan for marathon training. A plan that does not include speedwork but does include doing the prescribed miles. Hoping that it will get me to the finish line uninjured.

A week in which I celebrated turning 34.

And received the much desired Athleta running skirt that I talked about here.

And a SweatyBand my Mom got at the LA Marathon expo.

And some Snuggbuds that she got there too.

All three from my sweet parents!

A week in which I was blessed with time with dear dear friends that live here and dear dear friends who were up visiting from California.

A week in which my cup was filled with birthday wishes from so many friends.

A week in which God blessed me and let me know his great love for me. Through songs. Conversations. And deep breaths.

A week in which my husband blessed me beyond what I could imagine and made my heart swell.

A week in which he told me that my birthday present was a much desired girls weekend in September to Eugene. During which, I will also get to run the Eugene Women's 1/2 Marathon.

A week in which I got to celebrate Sarah and Dimity's RLAMiversary with an amazing group of mother runners...

A week that ended with running 5 miles pain free.

Pain free??

Yep!! Pain free!

That snap, crackle, pop??

Pretty sure that was something in my foot popping back into place.

By Friday afternoon, my foot felt good as new. On Saturday morning I woke up and got out of bed expecting my foot to still hurt. And yet, it was wonderful! No pain at all!

I can't believe it's all better! That I can hopefully move on from here in my training. That I can train smart and stay healthy.

It's been an amazing week and honestly? I'm a bit thankful for my God forced break. Thankful for a week full of blessings. And looking forward to getting my run on!

Who Knows

I'm sitting here not really knowing what I should be doing.

Last week, I was supposed to run 3 miles Monday and do mile repeats on Wednesday.

Instead, I ran 5 on Monday and managed 3 on Wednesday - only 1 mile fast.

Then, I was supposed to run 18 for my long weekend run. And I did.

The problem?

After I finished my amazing 16 miler my left leg was fairly tight. I stretched and moaned and by Sunday afternoon, the bottom, outside of my left foot was hurting.

More stretching.

Then, Monday came. I told myself that if it hurt when I started running, that I would stop. It didn't. So, I kept going. And did 5 partly because I felt great and partly because I was worried that I wouldn't get to run again for a bit.

Wednesday morning I told myself I'd just run 6 easy and not worry about speedwork. Then, my warm-up felt great and I felt like a loser. How could I not do my speedwork?? Yeah. 1 mile at 8:03 and I knew I needed to knock it off.

No more running until Saturday. Which became another day of rest when my husband was working and my 7 year old son was puking. There was no way I could leave for 3 hours. I saw this as a gift from God. Another day to let my foot rest.

Saturday afternoon, my sweet friend Wendy and I were talking and she said she was looking at my paces and that I needed to slow down. Let my body learn the new distances. Not get injured. And, because she is MUCH older than me, I listened... even though I wanted to be the rebellious teenager that knew everything. Love you friend! And, really, she's only got 8 years on me.

Sunday morning I ate a little cream of rice, drank some coffee and took off. The foot felt great. I got a deep breath. It was to be a beautiful morning. No rain. In my capris, tank and day glow jacket. I even got to ditch the jacket at mile 7!

The foot was feeling pretty good. I was making sure to keep my pace around 9:30. All was good.

Then, my belly started growling and I started feeling a bit heavy legged. Then, I realized. CRAP! Forgot to eat my Power Bar before setting out. I ALWAYS have a Power Bar before my long runs.

10 miles in and I see a creepy guy on the path. I'm supposed to stop to eat my shot blocks, but I keep going. I did NOT want to stop next to him. About .25 up the path I stop and glance back to see him looking at me. YUCK!

Mile 12, my legs are getting heavier. My foot is starting to cramp. My legs are tight. I stop to stretch.

Mile 12.5, there's yucky guy again. I go a little faster!

Mile 13. Holy crap. Just 5 more to go. 5 is nothing. I can surely do 5.

Mile 14.5. If anyone I knew had driven by at this point, I would have gotten in their car. I was hurting. My calves were tight. My hamstrings were tight. My foot was tight. I was starting a big mental game.

You've got this. You can do this. 3.5 to go.

At this point, I felt like the poor girl on the side of the road. The one that people drive by and say, "Oh, look at her. Good for her. She's really trying."

My pace creeps over a 10 minute pace. Then 10:30. I don't care. I hurt. I just want to finish.

Tears in my eyes I get to my imaginary finish line. Aching. Wanting to collapse. Wishing that someone would stop and take pitty on me and drive me home. I try calling our sitter who lives down the hill from us. A whole minute from us. I cannot walk up the hill. She doesn't answer. I moan and groan as I walk the walk.

Immediate ice bath (I'll post a picture later) Hot shower. Sugoi compression tights on. Food in the tummy and I was feeling good.

I can say that post run soreness has been much better than after last weeks 16. In fact, I woke up Monday wishing I could run. But, my foot hurts. And I don't know what to do.

I still have so much time left.

I was supposed to run 2 yesterday. I could barely walk.

I iced and rested. By last night, I felt golden.

I should do 2 today. It seems doable, but my foot is still not right. Do I just take the week off? Not push it? Pick back up next week??

Or, do I just toughen up and go?

It seems to be muscular. It seems that when I spend a lot of time stretching, icing and resting it feels much better. It really doesn't bother me when I run - unless of course I'm running 18!

Who knows.

I know I'm conflicted. The fighter in me says, "push on". The fear in me says, "rest". I guess I just need someone to tell me that if I rest for a week, I'll be fine.

Who knows.

Do you??