Would It Be So Wrong?

Would it be so wrong to wear my favorite running capris to church? To run errands? Here, there and everywhere?

Would it be so wrong to wear my favorite running tanks to church? To run errands? Here, there and everywhere??

My hat?

My shoes??

My husband and I are going to Mexico soon with some wonderful friends. It will be our first child-free vacation since I was pregnant with Caden... 9 years ago! The other night, Cory asked if I needed anything for our trip. Needed? Yes!

I added running to my 3 days of Jazzercise in January. Since then, I have lost 14 lbs. 14 wonderful pounds that, to be honest, have brought wonderful compliments. 14 wonderful pounds that have made my summer clothes from the last 2 years way too big. So, yes. I could definitely use some things for Mexico!

Our friends watched all of our kids last night so that we could have a little shopping date. You would think that after losing 14 lbs. that I would find plenty. Right? Wrong.

By the time we were done, I was in tears and ready to just wear all my baggy, frumpy clothes of years past. I then asked my dear friend if I could just wear my running gear instead. After all, I feel great in my running gear. I feel strong. I feel confident. Real clothes? Clothes that the general public wears all the time? Yeah. Not so much.

Seriously. Shorts were either too short or too long. Tops were too baggy and left me looking 20 lbs. heavier. I did NOT lose 14 lbs. just to look heavier. Swimsuits? Well, lets just say they left NOTHING to the imagination. My favorite purchase? New shoes for Jazzercise.

Feeling disappointed and discouraged. Again, I ask, would it be so wrong to wear my favorite running capris, tanks, hat and shoes wherever I go??

Dedicated

Yesterday was only to be 7 miles. It was also supposed to happen early. Before church. So, we could have the rest of the day to work in the yard and relax. 8:00 came and went. I moseyed out of bed, snuggled with my boys, drank some coffee and watched the rain fall. The weather man said it should be more intermittent by the afternoon. I decided to run then...

Church ended and it was still pouring down rain. Life in the Northwest, I know. But, is it so wrong to ask for rain free runs?

The sun peeked out and I headed out too. It was so beautiful that I even took my little jacket off and tied it around my waist. Beautiful!! Birds chirping. Sun shining. Beautiful!

1.5 miles in and it reminded me of the April Showers song in Bambi. A drop here. A drop there. Then lots of drops everywhere.

It was pouring!

I could see the looks on the faces of the people driving by. I thought I must look crazy! I decided I could look at it 2 ways. Either be bummed I was running in the rain, OR be proud that I was running in the rain. I chose proud and wore it like a badge as I ran on.

I laughed as I looked at my lap times. I was supposed to run it at 10:29's. Ended up averaging 9:45. You can tell the miles that it was really raining because I sure went a lot faster... one at 9:25 and another at 9:01.

I kicked it the last 1/2 mile and even got an encouraging honk as a car drove by. My hands were numb and my arms weren't much better, but I couldn't stop myself when I opened the door...

"Hey, Babe, could you get me my camera and a towel??"

Yes. I did. I just had to document the wettest I've ever been. Rain dripping off my hat. Sloshing out my shoes. Proud to have toughed it out. Glad to have an amazingly hot shower when I was done!

Ramblings

In between dreaming I was pregnant and sleeping ever so peacefully, I heard the howling of the wind and the pounding of the rain. With a bit of dread I would roll over, look at the clock, and hope for the rain to stop before 6:00 a.m.

5:28 and I hop out of bed. Throw on my new favorite T (my shirt from my 1/2 - made from bamboo. Oh so soft and the fit so flattering.), my capris, my light sweatshirt, my hat and my socks. Into the kitchen to make a cup of joe. Throw a cliff bar in my purse. Get the 2nd pot of coffee ready to press start for when I come home. Start making the lunches. Out the door. Tying the laces. Listening to it POUR outside. Dread filling my head.

Soaked before I get in the car, I drive down the hill and plead, "PLEASE stop raining!" To which I then asked myself, "who are you talking to??" At that point, I started talking to the Lord. Praying for the rain to let up just a bit. To at least hold off until we were well into our run. I didn't want to be soaked before I even started!

The rain slowed. I pulled up at Mandi's. Frowning, I walked to her door. I made the necessary pit stop and off we went... it was NO LONGER RAINING!!!

Praising the Lord the whole run for pressing the pause the rain button. It's been crazy today. This day in May. Thunder. Hail. Pouring rain that fills puddles quicker than a wink. Crazy!

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As we ran this morning, a light went off in my head. We were supposed to be doing speed work. A warm up mile. A mile at 8:24. Jog for 1/2 mile. Alternate to reach 5 miles total. As we pushed for the 8:24, I realized, if I wanted to lose my running partner, I should just keep on going. If I would like to keep her, slow down, run 5. Be thankful for the miles. They are still helping. And let go. Let go of your goal. Be thankful you're running. Our time has improved thus far with NO speed work. It will continue to improve... maybe not as much or as quickly, but, with each mile ran, my body will get stronger. I am still doing good things for my body. It is okay.

I'm CHOOSING to just enjoy the ride. To be okay with the fact that 9-9:30 is where I'm at now. I struggle with feeling like I am not legitimate if I do not run under 9's. That I'm not really a runner. And if I compare myself to my faster friends and the amazing women's blogs that I read, I will continue to find myself feeling like I'm falling short. But, if I CHOOSE to just embrace the fact that I get to do it at all and that I just plain enjoy it, then it doesn't matter that I'm not as fast. I'm doing good for me. I'm better than I was. I'm running farther with less effort than I ever thought possible. Thankful that God has brought me to this place. Where I have the time. Where I have the energy. Where I have the support of my husband. Thankful. Thankful. Thankful.

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A friend was picking my brain today about running. Always happy to talk about running. Always happy to help with the little knowledge I have. She asked how I had the time.

Let's see...

I no longer have babies in diapers.

I no longer am nursing a baby in diapers...

That wakes multiple times a night...

That requires more energy than I have...

I no longer have to wake up at 6:15 to get my kids off to school at 6:45. We moved and now don't have to be up until 7.

So, I CAN get up at 5:30 to go for a run at 6.

I CAN leave and make it back to help with breakfast while my amazing husband makes lunches (we are becoming a well-oiled machine!)

I CAN now do what I could NOT before.

It's all about timing.

Even a year ago, I was not ready. I did not have the time. I did not have the energy. It was not going to happen.

Now, it's happening and I LOVE it!

Yesterday, I was over reading Elizabeth's blog. She wrote about expectations and I just about cried while I read of her disappointment. Not near the runner she is, but still able to identify with what she had to say.

I've started getting ready for August and September. Back to back weekends with 2 different races. A relay that will have me running 3 legs in about 24 hours. And a half marathon that I SO want to get done in under 2.

I absolutely have expectations.

Then, today, while browsing one of my favorite sights an article caught my eye. How to prepare for your race. When I read this, the lump returned to my throat...

Great Expectations

Summary: Your harshest critic; your toughest training partner; your arch enemy (at times)...these people all have one thing in common: YOU. The time and energy and money that goes into a proper training cycle for a big event are the "big three" -- the things that conspire to put inordinate pressure on you pre-race. Succumb to their pull and you risk blowing things before you even start.

Advice: Maintain perspective. This is a hobby. You do this sport for fun; you aren't getting paid for it. I am not saying don't try hard, just avoid totally geeking out. After days / weeks / months of doing what you love daily (most likely early, alone and in the dark), you now get to celebrate your passion by competing with hundreds and thousands of other folks just like you. It's not pressure, this is a party!

1. Know that the only person who really cares how you do is you. Your friends and family just want you to be safe and happy. You owe them that.

2. Keep a smile on your face all day; you are blessed to be physically and financially able to compete in this event. There are many others who couldn't even dream of being in your shoes their lives are so hard.

3. Focus externally on the other folks during your week, saying hi to the other athletes and thanking the volunteers and local establishments who make your event possible. It will keep the good karma flowing and keep you in check.

4. The only time that matters is what the clock says at the end of the day. There will be challenges throughout your endurance day; it's what's supposed to happen! Your ability to handle them quickly and effectively will ensure you spend less time on the course and get to the finish line faster.

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So, I'm trying. Trying to let go of my expectations. To just embrace the race. Embrace the experience. After all, I really am SO very thankful to be able to do any of it in the first place. Truly!

Hello Buns

I don't know if it's the 7 mile run I did yesterday with my dear friend Wendy or the run from this morning, but my buns sure are saying hello. So, Buns...

Hello back at you!

In my desire to avoid over training and injury I am currently running like I'm starting to train for a half. My brain knows that this is good. It does. The rest of me, however, just wants to go. Go. Go! So, to be quite honest, I was a bit bummed that my long run for the week was only 7 miles. I wanted more! But, then, while talking with Wendy, I found out she had 7 this weekend too! I love running with Wendy so, I jumped at the chance.

And the 7 miles? Wonderful! They were 7 wonderful and fantastically hilly miles. At one point, Wendy said something about me complaining about her taking me on this run on my facebook update. To which I replied, "No way! If I were to drive by us right now, I would be totally jealous!" We were working hard, sweating like crazy and it was beautiful outside! There was no way I'd be complaining about ANY of that!

I'm not so used to running on hills. And as I train for Hood To Coast and another half, I'm making sure to add lots of hills.

This morning was just a 2 mile easy run. It felt wonderful to get a little break from my fighting kids and it was another beautiful morning for a run. Just a little hilly from my driveway out and when I finished the 2, I thought I'd tackle the little hill just down from my house. Okay. It's not really little.

It was interesting running down. It is quite steep and took me a bit to figure out how to hold my body. Then, to turn around and go back up... It's not really that long of a hill, but even to walk up it sends my heart pounding. I was curious what it would be like to run. I looked at my watch to see how long it would take to go up... 1:31! That's all. Yes. It was steep. Yes. My heart was pounding. BUT. It was not as crazy hard as I thought. Conquering that hill felt fantastic!

Thank you Wendy and the hilly 7! Thank you crazy hard hill out front! My body is happy. My buns are happy. Thank you!

Waiting

It's Mother's Day and I'm staring longingly out my window. The sun is shining, it's warm, and it's only 8:25 a.m... a rare occurrence this year! It Mother's Day and a beautiful run sounds like such a gift.

However.

My amazing husband is working today. And while I could have gotten up at 5:30 this morning to get a run in, I also thought it sounded wonderful to stay in my soft and comfy bed... clean sheets, birds chirping, sun shining. Almost vacation-like. Almost.

So, I slept.

I also had told myself I would take the weekend off. Letting my body rest and recuperate. I still have a large blister on the bottom of my foot that starts to go away and then gets aggravated again when I go to Jazzercise. And after Thursday's short 4 miles, I feel like my muscles could use the rest. So, it was only 1 day of running and 3 days of Jazzercise for me this week.

Waiting.

Waiting for Monday.

Waiting is hard... especially when it's beautiful outside! It's taking every ounce of me to not go run.

Knowing...

That Monday I start my "very hard" training plan spit out by smart coach from Runnersworld.com. Training to get ready for Hood to Coast in August and the Eugene Women's Half in September. Training so I can finish my half in under 2. Training so I can actually run a half the weekend after I do Hood To Coast and not feel like big bertha running down the road with legs so heavy I can hardly lift them.

So, I'm resting. Waiting. Revving my engines. Can't wait for tomorrow!

Pretty?

I knew it probably wasn't going to look great. It was feeling a little tender. And oh, the glory, when I removed the polish. Can't help but wear it like a badge of honor...

My first black toenail! Is it wrong to feel proud?

Cinco de Mayo 1/2 Marathon

It was my first. And truly, going into it, I thought I would be happy with finishing the race in under 10's. I found out shortly before the race that there were some serious hills. So, really, under 10's, I thought, would be great.

I was crazy nervous on the way to the race and was so thankful to have my wonderful husband by my side. As soon as the run started my nerves settled and I was just so thankful to be running.

To run in Portland is a gift. It is beautiful! From the trees, to the buildings, to the river and the streets... just beautiful!

I started strong and even held myself back a bit, knowing the hills were coming. Feeling amazing as we passed the start/finish line on our way to the hills, gave my hubby a smooch and off I went.

And, OH MY WORD!, those hills were crazy hard! Around mile 7.5 I started wondering if I could ever make it through a full marathon. I was tired and digging in and really really ready for the hills to be over. Really.

Finally, I started down the hill. Willing my legs to keep going. To not buckle. I was tired!

The lungs were great. The legs? Not so much!

As I pushed on, an amazing women pushing a jogging stroller went flying by. I shouted out, "you're awesome!" So inspiring to watch her go as she was soon out of sight.

Mile 11 and I truly thought about walking. At this point I wouldn't get in under 2 hours and I was pooped! But, I pushed on. Thankful to be running. Thankful to be racing. Thankful to be almost done!

I reached the finish line half smiling, half grimacing. My wonderful husband and fantastic friend were there to greet me. It was exhilarating and I cannot wait to do it again!

My official time? 2:04:24.

Struggling between being proud to have accomplished a 1/2. Proud to have finished under 10's. Disappointed that I didn't get under 2 hours like I truly wanted. Disappointed to place 18/24 in my age division.

But, I feel fairly great today. Just tired. Muscles aren't sore. Just tired. Ready to start doing some hill work and really working on my time so that I can come in under 2 in September.