Ramblings

In between dreaming I was pregnant and sleeping ever so peacefully, I heard the howling of the wind and the pounding of the rain. With a bit of dread I would roll over, look at the clock, and hope for the rain to stop before 6:00 a.m.

5:28 and I hop out of bed. Throw on my new favorite T (my shirt from my 1/2 - made from bamboo. Oh so soft and the fit so flattering.), my capris, my light sweatshirt, my hat and my socks. Into the kitchen to make a cup of joe. Throw a cliff bar in my purse. Get the 2nd pot of coffee ready to press start for when I come home. Start making the lunches. Out the door. Tying the laces. Listening to it POUR outside. Dread filling my head.

Soaked before I get in the car, I drive down the hill and plead, "PLEASE stop raining!" To which I then asked myself, "who are you talking to??" At that point, I started talking to the Lord. Praying for the rain to let up just a bit. To at least hold off until we were well into our run. I didn't want to be soaked before I even started!

The rain slowed. I pulled up at Mandi's. Frowning, I walked to her door. I made the necessary pit stop and off we went... it was NO LONGER RAINING!!!

Praising the Lord the whole run for pressing the pause the rain button. It's been crazy today. This day in May. Thunder. Hail. Pouring rain that fills puddles quicker than a wink. Crazy!

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As we ran this morning, a light went off in my head. We were supposed to be doing speed work. A warm up mile. A mile at 8:24. Jog for 1/2 mile. Alternate to reach 5 miles total. As we pushed for the 8:24, I realized, if I wanted to lose my running partner, I should just keep on going. If I would like to keep her, slow down, run 5. Be thankful for the miles. They are still helping. And let go. Let go of your goal. Be thankful you're running. Our time has improved thus far with NO speed work. It will continue to improve... maybe not as much or as quickly, but, with each mile ran, my body will get stronger. I am still doing good things for my body. It is okay.

I'm CHOOSING to just enjoy the ride. To be okay with the fact that 9-9:30 is where I'm at now. I struggle with feeling like I am not legitimate if I do not run under 9's. That I'm not really a runner. And if I compare myself to my faster friends and the amazing women's blogs that I read, I will continue to find myself feeling like I'm falling short. But, if I CHOOSE to just embrace the fact that I get to do it at all and that I just plain enjoy it, then it doesn't matter that I'm not as fast. I'm doing good for me. I'm better than I was. I'm running farther with less effort than I ever thought possible. Thankful that God has brought me to this place. Where I have the time. Where I have the energy. Where I have the support of my husband. Thankful. Thankful. Thankful.

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A friend was picking my brain today about running. Always happy to talk about running. Always happy to help with the little knowledge I have. She asked how I had the time.

Let's see...

I no longer have babies in diapers.

I no longer am nursing a baby in diapers...

That wakes multiple times a night...

That requires more energy than I have...

I no longer have to wake up at 6:15 to get my kids off to school at 6:45. We moved and now don't have to be up until 7.

So, I CAN get up at 5:30 to go for a run at 6.

I CAN leave and make it back to help with breakfast while my amazing husband makes lunches (we are becoming a well-oiled machine!)

I CAN now do what I could NOT before.

It's all about timing.

Even a year ago, I was not ready. I did not have the time. I did not have the energy. It was not going to happen.

Now, it's happening and I LOVE it!