37 Miles

It's been quite a week. 

Rather, it's been quite a busy 3 days.

Tomorrow morning, Cory's sister, brother in law and our sweet little nephew will be coming to our house to watch our sweet babes. 

Tomorrow morning, Cory and I will be headed to Las Vegas for Cory's work and a little rest and relaxation. 

This week, I had 37 miles to run.

5, 7, 5 and 20.

The 5's and the 20 were to be run at an easy pace.

The 7 included 4, 1 mile repeats at a pace of 7:26.

Last Saturday, I ran a treadmill tempo run that pushed me and left me elated that I hit my times and got to run with the elites.

Sunday, it snowed.

Sunday, Ella puked again.

Sunday, I decided to run 20 on Monday...

Monday, I ran that craptastic 20.  After my 20, I put my Sugoi compression tights on to prepare my legs for Tuesday...

Monday, it snowed some more and Ella puked again and stood looking out the window and crying when I would let her go play with her brother's in the snow...

Tuesday, I thought of T and G and their knee highs as I ran in my Run Love compression socks and laughed at how they almost came to the top of my knees.  But, they did the trick and my 5 felt amazing.  And my view out the window wasn't too shabby either!

 

After that 5, I put my Sugoi compression tights back on...

Tuesday, sis felt a bit better but I kept her home from school anyway.  She hadn't eaten or drank much in days so I figured she could use a day to refuel.  And play in the snow :)

This morning, Wednesday morning, I had those repeats to tackle.  On the treadmill.  Outside was a slushy, snowy mess.  About 4-6"of snow fell last night and at 6:00, when I looked out the window, it was raining.  Lovely. 

This morning, school was cancelled and wouldn't you know it, my kids LOVED playing in the slushy, snowy mess...

Off to the treadmill and... I NAILED it!!  My repeat times??

7:24
7:23
7:21
7:15

And, while it was hard, it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be which left me thinking I should have pushed a little harder :)  After that 7, I showered and... put my Sugoi compression tights back on :)

And tonight, I had 5 left.  So, after I put those sweet babes to bed, I headed to the mill and pounded out miles 33,34,35,36 and 37.  There was a light of rest and relaxation at the end of the tunnel AND a yummy raspberry Chobani sitting in my fridge.  Oh and those compression tights?  They got me through that 5 miles and have now been thrown in the hamper.  I'm sure they're happy for some rest too :)

So thankful for some rest and time with my sweetie!

I Almost Quit

I said I was headed for the treadmill.

I said 22 was not an option.

However, who knew that my treadmill stopped at 99:99???

Yes.

It stopped.

My head had to start calculating.  I was thrown off.  What the crap??

I got going again...

At 13 miles in, 14 was almost not an option.

If I were to keep running on the treadmill, I had 3 options...

1. Quit.

2. Poke my eyes out.

3. Die.

Oh.

My.

Word.

Thankfully, Cole was home from wrestling.

Thankfully, when I told him of my 3 options, he very sweetly told me to go run outside for as long as I wanted.

Sweet boy :)

I went and changed every article of clothing except my socks.

I grabbed my belt, my phone, my ID, my shot bloks.

I forgot my Powerbar on the counter.

I went outside and turned back around.

As I walked back to my bedroom, I wanted to cry.

It was FREEZING outside.

It was windy.

Was outside REALLY the better option???

Long tights on.

Warm jacket on.

Outside again.

Turn back around.

Walk back to the bedroom.

Grab my hat and my thick headband to put over my ears.

At this point, it had started snowing and the flakes were pelting my face.

Lovely.

Again, I wanted to cry.

Down my driveway.

Go!

At this point, I still wasn't sure how far I would go.

At 1/2 mile in my face was completely numb and I was ready to turn around.

I didn't.

14 miles.

15

16

17

Back at the end of my driveway.

How many more??

18

.5

turn around

This is not the run to build confidence.

This run is about getting it done.

Running slow and easy like you're supposed to.

Pushing through life's frustrations.

This run will be...

20

Done

I called Julie as soon as I was done.

"How can you do it??  You are amazing!!!  How do you do your treadmill runs??  I could barely make it 13!!"

To be honest, I was ticked.

Now, I'm not.

I ran 20 miles.

Who can be pissed about that??

Not me.

And now, I'm watching the snow that is blanketing the ground. 

I'm listening to my children scream with glee. 

I'm watching my dog bound through the snow, filled with joy.

I'm sadly telling my sweet, sick, girl that she can't play outside right now.

Aside from the sick girl, it's been a VERY good day.

Thank you, my amazing Heavenly Father!

Thank you!

Running With The Elites

Friday's run did not happen.

It just didn't.

It could have, but, I chose vacuuming my filthy house instead. 

A funny site?  Me, vacuuming in my Lulu skirt and tank.  Shoes on.  Ready to go. 

I didn't go.

So, on Saturday, when Cory offered to have me get my run in, I jumped at the opportunity.  And even better?  The Olympic trials for the marathon were on TV!

I pressed start on the treadmill as the men took off.

And as I ran a, hard for me on the treadmill, pace of 8:00 miles, I marveled at Meb and Ryan Hall.  The women took off and my kids and I were in awe at how easy those women made it look.  Here I was, pushing myself to hit 8:00 miles.  There they were, making a 5:00 pace look easy. 

Running with the elites is something I'll never actually do, but it sure was amazing to "run" with them on Saturday.  They inspired me to push through and meet my goal - 1 warm up mile, 5@8:05 and 1 cool down mile...

9:25
8:00
8:00
8:00
8:00
7:53
9:30

To be honest, the saying, "She believed she could so she did", was not working for me. 

I did not believe.

And, yet, as I got into my run, I kept telling myself I could...

Just a little farther.

Each mile counted down.

7 minutes...

6 minutes...

5 minutes...

4...

Each mile. 

You can do it.

Breathe.

Push.

You did it!!!!! 

I'm so thankful and so blessed to have a treadmill. I love it for the easy runs.  However, for some reason it is hard for me to hit my paces.  An 8:00 pace feels like 7:00 feels outside.  When I run my tempo's outside, I go by feel - trying to keep my pace at slightly uncomfortable.  I try not "push hard" until the very end.  Put me on the treadmill at an 8:00 pace and I feel like I'm pushing hard the entire time. 

A mental and physical challenge, for sure.

Now?

Now, I'm headed for another treadmill run.

My sweet miss is sick and outside is not an option.

Something else that's not an option? 

My mileage for the day.

22 miles.

I carbed up yesterday.

I drank my H2O yesterday.

I cannot waste all that goodness.

So, today, 22 miles on the treadmill awaits.

Here we go!




****  I wrote this comment on Another Mother's Runner's Post about the trials.  It sums up just how special it was to not only "run" with the elites, but also how amazing it was to have my kids watch it with me...

I had the privilege of “running with the elites” on Saturday as I ran a, hard for me, tempo run on my treadmill and watched the trials. As I pushed my pace, I marveled at their bodies and how they could make their pace look so effortless. As I pushed, 4 of my kids ran circles around the couches and cheered for Meb and Deena and Kara. As Shalane, Desi and Kara pushed hard and Amy Hastings surged forward, my kids asked if I would ever run that race. I loved their enthusiasm and could help but wish that they would catch a bit of the running bug! It was amazing to watch and my mother runner heart loved hearing my kids cheering and clapping right along with me as the runners raced to the finish line.

Tired

No, there was no crazy good tempo run this morning.

Instead, there was a sweet girl who still wasn't feeling so great.

So, I changed out of my running clothes. 

Put my civilian clothes on.

Went to Bed Bath & Beyond (yes, we had time)

Target

Zipped through Costco.

Picked B up from preschool.

Ran in and out of the library.

Found jeans for Cory and Caden at my favorite little consignment shop.

Came home.

Unpacked the car.

Made lunches.

Put everything away.

Started laundry.

I'm tired.

I'm cold.

I don't want to do my tempo run on the treadmill.

It scares the crap out of me.

My runs for the next week and a half are all off due to a little trip Cory and I will be taking.  So, I'm trying to cram them in where and when I can.  There is no science to where they're getting placed.  They get in where they fit in...

I was going to run 5 easy on Sunday and am now thinking I'll swap that run with today's...  if I can get myself changed into my shorts and T.  We'll see...

Just made some coffee.

Off to fold laundry.

And vacuum.

And maybe make banana bread.

And run that 5.

We'll see...

What A Difference A Day Makes

I'm sitting here on the foot end of my sweet baby girl. 

Yesterday morning, she was bright eyed, giggly and ready to go to school for a day of learning and fun.

It was a collective effort between myself and the kids, but somehow, Brenton and I were able to make it out the door early so we could get him to preschool at the earliest drop off time possible.

I had 16 miles to squeeze into 2 1/2 hours. 

I had a gameplan - to run progressively faster with each mile.  I figured it would be good to try on 16 miles since 16 is not too long and just long enough all at the same time...

9:12
9:05
9:00
8:51
8:41
8:36
8:28
8:25 (at this point I decided to just try and hang out in the 8:20's for awhile)
8:23
8:18 (little fast)
8:21
8:21
8:30 (little slow)
8:28
9:05 (chilled out a bit. Knew I had enough time to get back for preschool. Backed off so I could still get my speedwork done on Friday.  Enjoyed the sites of geese flying overhead.  Wondered what in the world was going on with a huge plume of smoke in the sky and 3 firetrucks flying by!)
 8:45 (forget backing off. I just want to be done!)

2:18:28

I made it back to preschool with plenty of time to stretch and take a deep breath!  What a beautiful run!

Again, the progressive run surprises me.  It's funny that in those little increases in speed, you never feel like you're going as fast as you are.  There's always a little bit of, "slow down".  I found that once I was out of the 8:50's, I had a hard time in the 8:40's and 8:30's.  I seemed to naturally kick it to the 8:20's and would slow my pace a bit.  Apparently my body likes the 8:20's right now?  Man, I would be so excited if I could keep it in the 8:20's for the majority of 26.2!  Time will tell...

B and I got home and I got straight in the hot shower, dressed in my most favorite sweats and fixed lunch.  Just as we were about to sit down, the phone rang,

"Hi, this is ____ from the school, Ella's in the office and isn't feeling good.  She looks pale, has a little temp, and didn't even eat her lunch."

B and I jumped in the car to pick sis up.

Within 15 minutes of getting home she puked.  On the family room floor.  Lovely.

The blessing?  I was tired and was supposed to run errands all afternoon.  My sweet little miss puking slowed me down and allowed me to get a little rest.  Always a silver lining :)

Between snuggles, cleaning up puke and making scrumptious sloppy joes courtesy of the Pioneer Women, I rested my legs and drank my water.

By last night, my legs were zinging and I was thinking about how thankful I was that today would be a rest day.

Ella was up 3 times last night throwing up and by this morning, I simply did not want to get out of bed.

Again, so thankful for a rest day...

We're crossing our fingers for 30 more minutes of no puking.  Sweet miss has applesauce in her tummy and is looking forward to a bit more.

And, I'm sitting here wishing I could hop on the treadmill and just run a few miles...

Funny what a difference a day can make.

Praying that one more day brings us a healthy girl and a crazy good tempo run! 

Love and Reminders

I happened to glance in the mirror this morning after I got dressed for my run and, to be quite honest, was taken slightly aback.

Who is that?

 

Where did those legs come from?

Is that really me??

With all my amazement, I decided to take a few quick pictures as a reminder on the days I'm not feeling quite so amazed...

You see, I'm pretty sure I'm a rare one.  I actually like myself better naked than clothed.  When I'm naked, there is nothing being squeezed, there is nothing too tight, there is no muffin top or plumbers crack, no panty lines, no bra lines.  Just me.  My body.  My muscles.  Oh, and that extra skin that carrying 4 babies blessed me with.  When naked, there is no question of my fitness, my health.  My lower stomach may resemble a prune - of which I can do nothing about, but the muscles in the top shine through.  The muscles in my legs seem to only become more defined.  When I actually take a moment to glance in the mirror, I can only praise God for the gift of running and for finally having a healthy perspective.

Today, I took pictures because I know that yesterday, I wasn't feeling so great about myself.  And nothing has changed since yesterday...

The brain is a funny thing, give it a bad night sleep, dehydrate it, add some funky hormones and like I said the other day, your perception gets off.

Today, I took those pictures to remind myself on the days I need a little reminder.

It made me think of my runs too.  There are days when I KNOW I'm supposed to run at an easy pace and yet by the end of the run I am tired and have nothing left to give.  Those are the days that I question myself.  Did I really run that pace, that fast, for that long??  I think it may be a dream until I actually look at my times.  I see it on paper.  It takes that very evidence for my brain to connect back to reality.

Confidence is a new thing to me and I'm learning that I have a lot of bad habits to break.  I have a lot of negative self talk that keeps trying to come back.  Thankfully, God is faithful to keep giving me REAL images of myself - inside and out.  He is so faithful to show me who I am and just how wonderfully made I really am.

It's funny to say those words.  To proclaim that I am strong.  That I am beautiful.  That I am loved.  That I am a good wife.  A good mom.  A good friend.  That I do have much to offer.  It's funny, because Satan would have me believe that's being arrogant.  I'm just going to say, right now, that it's not.  It's proclaiming how God has made me.  There is nothing arrogant about that!

Control

I did not want to get out of my cozy bed this morning. 

I did not want to get out of my jammies this morning.

I, most certainly, did NOT want to take B to preschool.

And, in no way, did I want to run in the cold this morning.

It's been so warm that I chose not to wash my running tights after Wednesday's run.  I didn't think I would need them today.  When I woke up and saw the frost, I knew I was wrong...

And, even though I KNOW that I need to get some more sleep, I'm terrible at actually doing just that...

And, add in some crazy painful ovulatory pains and I did NOT want to go.

I just didn't.

On the other hand. 

I couldn't wait.

I got new shoes yesterday and I was so excited to get out there and run in them.

That and the fact that I've got my eye on the prize.

Even still, I had a bit of an attitude as I drove to Mandi's to start my run.

I decided to dedicate the run to Harmony.  I would run for her because she can't right now.  I would use those miles to lift her up in prayer.  I texted her to let her know and headed off.

I started reading Road Racing for Serious Runners this week and am beginning to wonder if I have it all wrong.  Am I running too fast??  What are my goals for the run?  Focus.  Focus.  Focus.  While I've heard to start slow and pick it up from there, I never completely sell out on that plan.  I fear that I won't have any left to give at the end.  However, in reading even the small parts that I've read, I decided to give it a go today.  To REALLY start SLOW and progressively speed up with CONTROL.  That's the key word for me...

I was, quite honestly, shocked with each mile.  At no point (with the exception of the last 1/4 mile) was my breathing labored.  My pace felt easy to me the entire time.   It took a lot of focus.  But, what surprised me the most, was that because I started at such a slower pace and stayed in control with each mile, I had so much to give at the end.  I cannot wait to do this on my 16 miler next week and see what happens.

9:21 (goal 9:30)
9:08 (goal 9:10)
8:55 (goal 8:55-9)
8:44 (goal 8:50-55)
8:40 (goal 8:40-45)
8:26 (goal 8:30-35)
7:34 (kept it at an 8:20 until the last 1/4 mile and let myself GO!)

Oh, and the shoes??  SO thankful for a new pair!  No aches!  No pains!  Just a wonderful run, praying for Harmony, focusing on control and smiling!  Thankful for another blessed run!

Perception

Long, long, ago, in a galaxy far, far away, I walked into my college "Perceptions" class...  or something along those lines.  As I walked in, I noticed there was a picture on the overhead that looked something like this...

 

When class got started, my professor asked if there was anyone in the room who had astigmatism.  I raised my hand.  She then asked me to describe what I saw...

One black line in the center and the lines that fanned out were gray.

Everyone looked at me with their jaws dropped.

That is not what they saw.

My perception was off.  My astigmatism caused me to see the lines differently.  The fact was, all the lines were black.

Perception is a funny thing.

I may be the fittest I've ever been, but dehydrate me and give me little sleep and I'll start to feel pretty sluggish.  Add in some hormones and I might even look at myself in disgust as I get dressed.  Feeling as though, somehow, quite magically, 10 lbs. crept on overnight.  Only to double check and find that no such thing has happened.  My perception is just off for the day...

Or perhaps, it might happen in a run.  My runs have been amazing.  I have seen "easy" paces I never thought possible.  And yet, that dehydration and lack of sleep, can really wreak havoc.  And as I ran my 7 easy yesterday, I wondered if any of those amazing runs truly happened.  My knee was starting to hurt.  My shin was starting to ache.  What was going on??  I started to pick on myself.  My perception was off...

The facts were:  I was dehydrated.  I was exhausted.  And then, fact number three hit me.  It was time for new shoes.  I only start to hurt when the shoes are wearing out.  I should've known.  I laughed as I looked at the bottom of my shoes last night.  I had completely worn through the top layer in some parts.  Since I purchased them in August, I have ran 526.55 miles.  Yeah.  It was time for new shoes.  

Old shoes on the left.  New on the right.

Old on the left.  New on the right.

Check out that heel!!

Love my Saucony's!!

My perception?  I sucked.  The facts??  I needed new shoes.  I needed sleep.  I needed water.

I've had some amazing conversations with God lately.  Conversations that have revealed just how He sees me.  Who I am.  Who I am not.  My lifelong insecurities no longer have a hold on me.  I know the truth.  God has shown me the truth.  For that I am incredibly thankful.  It's funny to me though.  Even with this foundation.  Even in knowing the facts.  When I'm tired.  When I'm spiritually dehydrated.  That is when my perception can be wrong.  That is when Satan comes to play.  Go away stinkface!  I'll take God and His truth instead!

As I ran yesterday, God reminded me of my perceptions class.  He reminded me of what I saw and what was the truth.  He reminded me of who I am in Him.  He is forever faithful.  So thankful for truth, for the light, for God and His tender mercies.  

And, holy cow, am I thankful for new shoes!!

A Great Day

Friday was a great day.

Not just because I had an amazing 20 miler.

But, because I came home to this...

It used to look like this...

Cory worked hard all last week to give me my "office".  A calm place.  A place I can hang my race bibs, metals and inspiration.  A place all my own.  And yes, I did request for it to be in my laundry room.  I felt that, perhaps, I would be smiling while doing the grueling and never ending task of laundry. 

And then, I was told that this came from my Mom.  It was my Christmas gift...

 

And shortly after showering, we celebrated Christmas with Cory's family.

A great day indeed!!

And today?  Well, I gave this baby a whirl and am 100% in love with it.  Thank you, Mom!  And thank you, Lululemon!!

Also thought I'd do a little comparison.  Me today and me in October and even in September in the same top...  Down about 10 from September and down 6 or 7 from October.  I do not remember a time when I weighed this much or felt this great.  I am even lower than what I weighed in high school!  Crazy what the body does when it decides it's ready to let go of some of the excess :)