It Had To Be and Things I Learned

4:19:33

That was my time for Eugene.

Just in case anyone was wondering.

Faster than Vancouver. 

Slower than LA.

Exactly where God wanted me to be.

4:19:33

I've ran twice this week.  One 4 miler and one 6 miler.  Two runs in which I kept it easy and rarely looked at my watch.  Two runs in which I kept slowing myself down - knowing that I just ran a marathon on Sunday.  I debated even going on a run today.  Not because I didn't want to, but because I know that my body needs to recover.  However, I have a fantastic little head cold that only 2 things seem to clear up.  Things that get my blood flowing.  Running and well...  And, although I am no longer running 40+ miles a week, my stomach seems to think that I am and wants to be fed.  A lot.  And, when I have a head cold, I tend to feed my cold with carbs.  And, those carbs head straight to my waist and thighs when I'm not running 40+ miles a week.  And...

If you give a mouse a cookie...

Getting back to the point.

4:19:33 is what it had to be.

My runs this week, my easy runs are laughable.  Wednesday, my average pace was 8:45.  Today?  8:46.  And I was debating doing more...

I start wondering how it is that I can run those easy paces when I could barely sustain those paces for 10 miles on Sunday before grimacing. 

I start to question my moment with God.

I start to question it all.

But, then I go back to that moment, the chills, His voice, my burden being lifted from my shoulders and I know that 4:19:33 is what it needed to be so that I could give it entirely over to God.  So that I could have that moment.  So that I could have that clarity.  So that I could know without a shadow of a doubt that running is a gift.  That it fills my cup.  That it makes me smile.  That I could remember exactly where it comes from.

"His way is perfect"

Had I met any "goals" on Sunday, I don't think I would have had the same moment.  Or rather, the same results.  I could have said "I" did it and praised the Lord for that but taken the credit. 

I did nothing on Sunday but get out of the way and let God shine through.

I am so grateful for the way it had to be.

However, even though I know that my race day happened exactly like it needed to happen, it also taught me quite a bit...

I wonder why I can't seem to go long on race day.  I've taken a look at my training and have also looked at future plans.  I'm excited for the next go round and know that longer tempos and more miles at marathon pace are most likely what this body needs.

I learned that I don't embrace pain.  And, I don't want to.  It's not who I am.  I'm learning to be okay with that.  This is hard for me when I start to worry that other runners are going to think I'm an idiot or a pansy or worse.  And then, I remember that moment with God and I don't really care.  I'm on my own journey.  I won't judge them.  I hope they don't judge me...

I learned that I really really love the marathon.  Oh, wait, I already knew that.  This only made me love it more :)

While I've smiled this week, I've also wanted to pull the trigger on another race.  Too bad I can't figure out some way to have someone throw some free race entries my way :)

For now, I'm trying to figure out what the next few months will look like while I'm not training. Cory looked at the calender last night and said, "I thought you weren't training for anything??" I had mapped out my runs for the next couple of months and most weeks were at 30 miles and above. Nothing grand, no runs longer than 10 miles. All my happy distances. Building my base. However, I should probably do a little research and see what's best to do in the off months.  Any suggestions??

This post had been a little here, there and everywhere which is where my brain seems to be this week.  A mish mash of thoughts.  Thankful for praying, writing and running to get them all sorted out.


Have a great weekend!