The Time God Blew Me Away

3 weeks ago, I fell more in love with the marathon than I thought I could.  Rather, I fell in love with marathons with God.

There was a stirring in my soul.  Wondering why I get to love the run as much as I do.  Feeling like there has to be something more.  Feeling like God must have a reason for making me the way He has. 

And while it could just be that He is filled with joy just by seeing me being filled with such joy, I don't think that's it.  I believe that it can't just be about me.  It's just not.  There's more.

What is it?

I've been praying, I've been listening, I've been thinking.  There are lots of thoughts bouncing around in my head...

There's been this little race that's been enticing me for months.  But, once LA and Eugene were both firmly on the schedule, I just put it on the back burner.  The budget was spent.  My family had endured plenty of training months.  I let it go.

And then, Eugene happened.  Or rather, God happened :)

My happy happened.

This little race beckoned.

Then, on Daily Mile, a friend made a comment telling me I should run this little race.  I had already spent enough on races for the year and I commented that the only way it would happen is if God dropped the money in my lap. 

I truly was praying that.   

I had a talk with God one day.  I felt silly.  There are so many bigger things.  And yet, there I was, telling the Lord that I wanted to run this little race.  Telling Him that I only wanted to run it if He wanted me to run it.  That the only way I would be there is if He made it happen.  I also asked that my family would have supportive hearts if He wanted me there.

I had no idea what that would look like, but, God is God.  He can make anything happen and His imagination is SO much better than mine :)

And I continued to pray.

I told 2 friends.  I did not tell my husband.  I wanted this completely in God's hands.

Days before Mother's Day, I was listening the radio.  KLove was having a Mother's Day Contest.  You could send them a message of what your perfect day would be for a chance to win that perfect day.

I'm simple.

My first thought was, "I get perfect days all the time!  My perfect day is a day with my family that ends with dinner on the back patio with my family.  The breeze blowing through the trees.  Our skin, kissed by the sun.  The smell of the barbeque.  The birds chirping.  My perfect day has my kids running through the yard with the dog as my hubs and I sit back, watch them, and smile. 

I already have perfect.

What more could there be?

And then, I knew, my perfect day would have me waking up at O'dark early on the 4th of July.  It would include me running a marathon at 6:30.  Running 26.2 miles with God and hundreds of other runners.  Feeling the warm July sun (or wet mist that often happens on the 4th) on my skin.  Coming home to a wonderful hot shower.  Spending the day with family and friends.  Friends laughing.  Kids giggling, playing.  Perfection.

Maybe this would be how God would make this happen.  I'd win the contest.

Like I said, God's imagination is so much better than mine.

I didn't win. 

And, I was fine with that. 

If God wanted me there, I would be there.  If not, well, I wouldn't.

I did laugh, however, when I heard what the winner's perfect day would be, a trip to Disney World with her family.  Way to think big, Mere :)

Completely at peace, I prayed.

And then, on Mother's Day, I sat down to check my email.  What awaited me blew me away...

A message from someone I met on daily mile.  A message that, said the most wonderful things.  A message that said that my blog has brought her closer to God.  A message that said, my blog is my ministry.  A message offering to to pay for my entry into this little 26.2 on the 4th of July.  I sat there with tears streaming down my face.

"Honey, I have to tell you something."

I proceeded to tell my sweet hubs what I had been praying.  I read him the message.  I asked how he felt about it.  He too, was blown away.

God is so cool!

To me, it's not just about the fact that He answered my prayer, that He wants me there.  While that is amazing in and of itself, that's not all that blows me away.

What blows me away is how God weaves our lives together.  I share my thoughts.  He stirs the hearts of others.  He stirs my heart.  And somehow, he orchestrates these stirrings to happen together and we all get to be blessed...

What blows me away is the fact that I have always wondered why I'm here.  I have friends that just know their purpose.  They have the voice of an angel.  The lead like a shepherd.  They have wisdom and discernment.  They know why God has put them here.  I have always wondered why in the world I am here.  I have felt like the silly little girl who shares her thoughts about God and running.  Who shares it because she feels like maybe, just maybe, someone might be blessed by it.  But, I've always felt silly.  And little.

And really, I may be silly.  And truly, I am little next to my God.  But, God can make big things happen.  And, right now, I feel like He's using me in His big plan.

I have a purpose.

God has given me a gift.  I love running.  Through running, I have found myself, I have found my happy and more importantly, I have developed a relationship with God that I cherish and am not even sure I can explain.

He blows me away.

I pray that He continues to use me.  Whether it be through my thoughts that are written down, whether it's through conversations at races, perhaps it's just the smile on my face when someone needs a smile.  I will keep shining for God, looking for what He has for me, listening to where He wants me and loving every mile.

I sit in awe even as I type this.  Excited to be able to share this story, God's story, with others.  Humbled that God would use this love that He's given me to bless others.  That this little girl who has longed to have a purpose, does in fact have purpose.  That I am exactly who God has made me to be.  That He doesn't mess up.  He's just been patiently waiting for me to be ready.

Thankful for a friend I've never met for blessing me and for listening to God!


Thankful for my Heavenly Papa who blows me away!!