Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Dazed And Confused

I was looking forward to an easy 3 mile recovery run yesterday. 3 sounded relaxing. Recharging. Wonderful.

I thought I'd double check my schedule and my jaw just about hit the floor when I saw what it said...

8 MILES!!

8.

Holy cow.

That's not an easy 3.

The days of easy 3 mile recovery runs are over for now. Yes. They. Are.

I look at my Mondays and they are filled with 8, 8, 4, 6 and FINALLY 2 just weeks before my race. It overwhelms me just a bit.

I'm sure it doesn't help that I've been walking around dazed and confused. Tears flowing without warning. So many thoughts occupying my mind. Did I do this?? Did I do that?? I have no idea...

Yesterday, I sucked it up. I did what any crazy, exhausted runner would do. I changed, laced up and went to get my I-pod.

It was dead.

Crap.

Suck. It. Up.

I grabbed the phones (waiting for a call from my mom) and started running.

Okay.

I got this.

8 miles.

Legs heavy.

Eyes heavy.

Just about seeing stars.

Maybe this will make me feel better.

Maybe this will refresh me.

I am not feeling refreshed.

7 more.

6 more.

Come on, Mere!

The phone rang at 2.6.

Saved by the bell.

No news.

Hang up.

Then, an angel.

The phone rings again...

"Please tell me it's okay if I don't run 8 today. Please tell me it's okay! Please tell me that I can rearrange. Please!"

Oh, sweet Julie. She told me to stop. It would be okay. I would be okay. My training would be okay. I wasn't going to screw it up. We went over my schedule. I'll try again today.

I felt the weight lift from my shoulders.

Deep breath.

Aah.

Runner's World had a great article on when to rest, relax and recharge this month. And, yes, I did in fact read it. But, there was the crazy runner girl in me who thought that maybe, just maybe, it would recharge me to run. Crazy girl. I had so many strikes against me. I should have known better.

Today I'm feeling less dazed.

Today I'm shooting for that 8.

My I-pod is charged.

My goal is in sight.

I can and will do this!

Thank you for your kind words yesterday!! They mean the world to me and feel like hugs coming from afar. And boy do I love my hugs :)

6 comments:

H Love said...

HUGS!! You have been on my mind and I'm so happy that you were able to regroup. I have had a few of those days...where I had to skip a run/change a run and I am OK and you will be too!

Running is a blessing and a joy...sometimes it feels like we have to work hard to keep it that way.

Give yourself grace and lots of HUGS!!

Unknown said...

Good luck on your 8 today. I'm headed out to do an easy 3...see what you get to do after the big race!
Hugs!

Eryn said...

Love you so much, friend. Praying today your legs will feel light and you WILL feel recharged.

Praying lots and lots for your family.

Amy said...

Praying for your brother's legs to get you through!

Julie D. said...

you are awesome, mere. You've. freaking. got. this. (in the words of EMZ)

Tortuga_Runner said...

So glad you got that phone call! Take it easy, training shouldn't make you cry... Ok who am I kidding, mine always does;) LOL

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