Who Knows

I'm sitting here not really knowing what I should be doing.

Last week, I was supposed to run 3 miles Monday and do mile repeats on Wednesday.

Instead, I ran 5 on Monday and managed 3 on Wednesday - only 1 mile fast.

Then, I was supposed to run 18 for my long weekend run. And I did.

The problem?

After I finished my amazing 16 miler my left leg was fairly tight. I stretched and moaned and by Sunday afternoon, the bottom, outside of my left foot was hurting.

More stretching.

Then, Monday came. I told myself that if it hurt when I started running, that I would stop. It didn't. So, I kept going. And did 5 partly because I felt great and partly because I was worried that I wouldn't get to run again for a bit.

Wednesday morning I told myself I'd just run 6 easy and not worry about speedwork. Then, my warm-up felt great and I felt like a loser. How could I not do my speedwork?? Yeah. 1 mile at 8:03 and I knew I needed to knock it off.

No more running until Saturday. Which became another day of rest when my husband was working and my 7 year old son was puking. There was no way I could leave for 3 hours. I saw this as a gift from God. Another day to let my foot rest.

Saturday afternoon, my sweet friend Wendy and I were talking and she said she was looking at my paces and that I needed to slow down. Let my body learn the new distances. Not get injured. And, because she is MUCH older than me, I listened... even though I wanted to be the rebellious teenager that knew everything. Love you friend! And, really, she's only got 8 years on me.

Sunday morning I ate a little cream of rice, drank some coffee and took off. The foot felt great. I got a deep breath. It was to be a beautiful morning. No rain. In my capris, tank and day glow jacket. I even got to ditch the jacket at mile 7!

The foot was feeling pretty good. I was making sure to keep my pace around 9:30. All was good.

Then, my belly started growling and I started feeling a bit heavy legged. Then, I realized. CRAP! Forgot to eat my Power Bar before setting out. I ALWAYS have a Power Bar before my long runs.

10 miles in and I see a creepy guy on the path. I'm supposed to stop to eat my shot blocks, but I keep going. I did NOT want to stop next to him. About .25 up the path I stop and glance back to see him looking at me. YUCK!

Mile 12, my legs are getting heavier. My foot is starting to cramp. My legs are tight. I stop to stretch.

Mile 12.5, there's yucky guy again. I go a little faster!

Mile 13. Holy crap. Just 5 more to go. 5 is nothing. I can surely do 5.

Mile 14.5. If anyone I knew had driven by at this point, I would have gotten in their car. I was hurting. My calves were tight. My hamstrings were tight. My foot was tight. I was starting a big mental game.

You've got this. You can do this. 3.5 to go.

At this point, I felt like the poor girl on the side of the road. The one that people drive by and say, "Oh, look at her. Good for her. She's really trying."

My pace creeps over a 10 minute pace. Then 10:30. I don't care. I hurt. I just want to finish.

Tears in my eyes I get to my imaginary finish line. Aching. Wanting to collapse. Wishing that someone would stop and take pitty on me and drive me home. I try calling our sitter who lives down the hill from us. A whole minute from us. I cannot walk up the hill. She doesn't answer. I moan and groan as I walk the walk.

Immediate ice bath (I'll post a picture later) Hot shower. Sugoi compression tights on. Food in the tummy and I was feeling good.

I can say that post run soreness has been much better than after last weeks 16. In fact, I woke up Monday wishing I could run. But, my foot hurts. And I don't know what to do.

I still have so much time left.

I was supposed to run 2 yesterday. I could barely walk.

I iced and rested. By last night, I felt golden.

I should do 2 today. It seems doable, but my foot is still not right. Do I just take the week off? Not push it? Pick back up next week??

Or, do I just toughen up and go?

It seems to be muscular. It seems that when I spend a lot of time stretching, icing and resting it feels much better. It really doesn't bother me when I run - unless of course I'm running 18!

Who knows.

I know I'm conflicted. The fighter in me says, "push on". The fear in me says, "rest". I guess I just need someone to tell me that if I rest for a week, I'll be fine.

Who knows.

Do you??