I was over reading Dorothy's blog, Mile Posts, yesterday and she posed this question...
When did you first decide you were *officially* a runner?
Funny thing.
I haven't.
I love Dorothy's blog and felt rude for not even commenting. But, who really wants to read an Eeyore response to something that could be such an exciting response.
For me, in my head, I am still not a runner. I am merely pretending.
For me, that sub 2:00, is what will make me a runner.
This is not to say that I think that other runner's who have not run a sub 2:00 half are not runners. This only applies to me. It is my goal.
After all my ailments, I was able to get out for a run yesterday afternoon. I was very mindful of my knee and very very thankful that it did not hurt at all. I've been stretching and icing like crazy. Hoping that I can get through this and keep up with my training.
As I ran along on my short 3, I marveled at God's creation. It was a beautiful afternoon. It smelled like fall and spring all in the same. The sounds. The sites. I soaked it all in. A deep breath.
As I ran along on my short 3, I fought my brain the ENTIRE time. Although I enjoyed the deep breath, I also had what I've seen referred to as the suck monkey sitting on my shoulder. Telling me I am not a runner. Telling me I'm slow. Telling me that I'm not going to finish in sub 2:00. Blah. Blah. Blah. Stupid suck monkey.
Do you want to know what I fought back with? YES. I can. Michelle commented on my last post. She's never commented on my blog before, but what she said planted firmly in my mind. "You can run a sub 2:00. Mind over body. You got this." She doesn't know me, but her words have stuck.
Mind over body.
I ran harder than I probably should have yesterday. Pushing myself enough to feel it, but not so much as going at full throttle. I know I should have gone slower. I just wanted to punch that suck monkey in the face.
3 miles.
26:15
8:45 average pace.
Take that suck monkey.
I may not have felt like a graceful gazelle.
I may not have felt like an official runner.
But, I did feel like a fighter.
Mind over body.
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7 comments:
great job!
I saw in my google reader that you had mentioned my posting. I clicked to read yours not because you had mentioned mine, but because I thought to myself if Meredith writes a posting about how she isn't a runner yet I'm going to be mad at her!! You absolutely are a runner. I know the 2:00 mark for you will make you a runner in your head but I promise you I am no less or more a runner at my 3:21 than I was at my 4:20. Sure overtime I've been able to break down some of my time barriers, but the day I decided to consistently run - is the day I became a runner. I'm sorry to inform you that you are indeed a runner now[whether you agree with me or not]. Am I any less a runner today at 31 weeks pregnant because I can't break a 10 minute mile most days? NO :) You will be the same person once you break your 2:00 mark. I hope this helps you realize this.
Wake up tomorrow and tell yourself you are indeed a runner and because you are a runner you will EASILY break the 2 hour mark soon!
I struggle with this a lot. Some days it is easy to feel like I am a runner, others not so much. I especially have a hard time when other runners (who run 8/9 min miles on a daily basis.. lol) don't even consider themselves runners! I feel like because I don't make a certain min/mile mark then I am not considered a runner in the running world let alone my own mind. But one day I will get there. Some days I don't even care about being called a runner because I love what I am doing for my body and 50 lbs ago I couldn't have walked even 3 miles without feeling winded!
You are gonna hit your sub 2:00 goal!! Keep up the great work!
I love how running is such a mind game. Running on the treadmill has shown me this!
You are so tough on yourself, my sweet friend. I hope you hear what Dorothy is saying. Especially the part that says once you hit your goal you will still be the same person, the same runner. And also have to say, do you seriously think of yourself as "pretending" to be a runner??? Oh my word. The only way a person can say they are pretending to be a runner is if they buy a bunch of fancy running clothes, go out and "run" errands in them, then come home and sit on the couch! You are NOT a pretender. Not even close.
BTW, to answer your question, I do consider myself a runner! For me, pinning on my number for my very first race made me feel like a runner, but I think that the moment I started training for the Girlfriends' Half, I would consider myself a runner.
We are so often our own worst critics. I realized just recently that I knew on some level that I was a runner when I was a kid. It took many many years for that epiphany to manifest in my conscience. We are what we think we are.
And good for you for showing that suck monkey who's boss!
When I think of runners I want to be like when I grow up to be a runner...you are one of them! So, I count you as a runner.
I kind of feel like Amy, when I pinned on my race number, that made me feel official. I think my first moment I felt I could hack it as a runner, was my first 8 miler. for some reason, that was a huge landmark to me in my half training, and I felt a little bit legit. I knew I was going to make it...I definitely have not arrived, and for some reason, I have a 9 minute mile in my head. When I get THERE, Then I'll be a real runner. Isn't it weird the labels we think we need to be a "real runner"? You should listen to your kiddos, you're the real deal!
My dear, you ARE a runner!! You have been a goal setter and a goal reacher your entire life. Do not let the monkey take over your thoughts. You are a precious gift from God. Mom
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